PHOTO BY RICHARD COOK

• Figure out a new recipe with those traditional Pittsburgh storm essentials. Have you ever actually made French toast at home? You can probably pull that off. Maybe like a toad-in-the-hole type thing? Sure, you could just make eggs and toast like every other morning, but it’s a snow day. Go above and beyond.
• Finally watch a (long) classic of cinema. Under normal circumstances, the butt-numbing length of certain landmark films is a deterrent; sure, you’d like to finally watch “Gone With the Wind” (220 minutes), “Seven Samurai” (206 minutes) or “Solaris” (167 minutes), but who has the time? Guess what: You do! Today! All three are on HBO Max. Put on popcorn. Hell, put on a roast.
• Clean out that desk. You know the one. You know, you wouldn’t have to have piles of whatnot lying all over the house if you actually went through the stuff in that desk. You can probably get rid of everything in there without any trouble. What are these? Arby’s coupons? These expired before the pandemic. See, half of the stuff in here can probably go right now.
• Hey — a little bummed about the Steelers last night? Guess what game is on YouTube. In full.
• A couple of years back, a guy in Anchorage decided to see how big he could make a snowman. He hit about 22 feet in height, which was enough to get the city to step in and shut down his frosty dreams; apparently it was creating too much traffic as locals turned out (on snowy roads, yet) to gawk at the towering creation. So I’m saying two things: One, you can totally beat 22 feet. Two, do it in the backyard so the authorities don’t get involved.
• Let’s be honest: After today, you really won’t have an excuse to still have the Christmas tree up, will you?
• This one is a little boring, but no less valid. When’s the last time you actually had all the laundry done? I know, I know, but it’s really a remarkable feeling when you actually see the bottom of the hamper. You’re not going to bed for at least 12 hours. You can do this. Tomorrow (or whenever we actually leave the house), wake up with the confidence that you can wear literally anything you own!
• Does your home contain both several family members and a Nintendo Switch? Sounds like a certain family is ready for the most vicious, epic “Mario Kart” tournament of all time. (In case you didn’t realize we’d advanced beyond cartridges: If you don’t have the game, you can just download it! Straight onto the Switch! It’ll take an hour or two.) Remember, parents, “Mario Kart” is not about letting your kids taste victory; it’s about teaching them resilience in repetitive, devastating defeat.

And now, the one thing you will actually do today.

• Watch “The Office” on the couch, occasionally falling asleep, until about midnight. Remember to switch from coffee to wine at some point.