PHOTOS BY KRISTY GRAVER

Before the South Side’s Double Wide Grill can become Spork Island Trading Co., owner Steve Zumoff has to jump through a few hoops with Pittsburgh zoning regulators.

In the meantime, it’s a regular circus at 2339 E. Carson St.

Cannibal Clown Cafe, a haunted pop-up, will operate daily through Oct. 31 for lunch, dinner and late-night bites. Costumes and a sense of humor are encouraged. 

The menu features an array of themed cocktails, appetizers, sandwiches, barbecue platters, vegan options, mac-and-cheese bowls and carnival classics such as funnel cake fries and deep-fried Oreos. 

My eating habits have been horrific lately, so I opted for the Clown Face Salad. As I happily plunged my fork into Bozo’s hard-boiled egg eye, I could not resist the urge to tell the waiter that it tasted funny. If you’re not entertained by my dad jokes, perhaps Slippy the Clown, who performs nightly at the pop-up, can bring a smile to your face. 

When the Halloween hoopla is over, the building will remain dormant while Zumoff and his business partner Andy Tepper, who runs Spork in Garfield, hash out plans for the new Caribbean-themed bar and restaurant. Sean Enright, Spork’s former general manager, will help formulate Spork Island’s cocktail menu. You can get a taste of his creative alchemy at Cannibal Clown Cafe and at Poetry Lounge, his new bar in Millvale. 

Tepper and Zumoff met in the early ‘90s, around the same time Zumoff and Scott Kramer opened the Beehive Coffeehouse & Dessertery. The beloved South Side institution (that grew to include an Oakland site) was a place where Gen Xers like me could caffeinate with kindred misfit spirits. The Beehive brand went belly up in 2018 and most of the artwork and mismatched furnishings were donated to the Heinz History Center. 

I still sip my morning coffee from a yellow Beehive mug emblazoned with the shop’s iconic big-haired, bespectacled logo created by artist Rich Bach.

Zumoff went on to open and close more quirky bars and eateries, including three Double Wide Grill locations, Rowdy Buck and Lava Lounge. His Tiki Lounge is still an East Carson Street staple. On Nov. 1, it’ll host a book signing event celebrating the release of “Gen X Pittsburgh: The Beehive and the ’90s Scene” by author David Rullo, a senior staff writer at the Pittsburgh Jewish Chronicle. 

Zumoff hopes the Spork Island concept will debut in 2024. The building, a former auto repair shop, is in a historical district, so there are loads of guidelines to adhere to. A hearing will be held in early December that’ll help him refine the tropical concept. 

Until then, he’s figuring out what to do with all of Double Wide’s decor, which includes dozens of hubcaps, beer bottle chandeliers and a 1951 International Harvester pickup truck that’s parked above the bar. 

I wonder how many cannibal clowns could fit inside that thing?