PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

“Am I happy? Are you kidding? I’m making beer!” says Mike “Scarfo” Scarlatelli as he heaves a 50-pound bag of malted grain onto his shoulder.

I mean, I had to ask the question — just days ago he announced that The Smiling Moose, the punk rock bar he founded in 2003 on the South Side, would close by the end of May.

Many longtime customers (myself included), spent hours sharing photos and chatting online about the Carson Street venue that was one of Pittsburgh’s first craft beer destinations. Known for its creepy decor, it’s hosted thousands of bands over the years and serves some of the most bangin’ bites in town. For a horror lovin’ hog like me, this devilish dive bar with elevated fare is the beast of both worlds.

But, fear not, foodies — you can still consume beer and Jack Sparrow Burgers in the ‘burbs!

THE JACK SPARROW BURGER. PHOTO BY LAURA PETRILLA

In 2021, The Smiling Moose 2 opened on Rowan Road in Cranberry, near Scarlatelli’s Seven Fields home and the Fox Run neighborhood where I grew up. Like its predecessor, it features gourmet grub by chef Tiffany Alabran, signature beer and cocktails and badass Rich Bach artwork. Lunch, dinner and late-nite eats are served seven days a week, year-round.

PHOTO BY SEAN COLLIER

Scarlatelli and his sports-obsessed kids are regulars at the Cranberry Dek Hockey rink, which is located next to the The Smiling Moose 2, but his restaurant isn’t affiliated with the business nor the adjacent Cranberry Golf Center. He does, however, encourage athletes to grab a bite and a brew after they play.

PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

Speaking of playing, Scarlatelli’s been a touring musician most of his life, drumming for Submachine, Bunjie Jambo, The Reggie Bannister Band, Irwin and Cumplete Basturds. During the pandemic, when revenue-generating live shows were prohibited, he set up a one-barrel brewing system on the second floor of the original Moose to keep his creativity and income flowing.

These days, he spends more time on a brewhouse platform than a concert stage.

During my visit to The Smiling Moose’s 20-barrel brewing facility in Grove City, he was cranking out OUdrank12, a double-hopped follow-up to 5150 Hazy IPA, his first liquid tribute to Van Halen.

PRODUCTION FACILITY IN GROVE CITY. PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

The Smiling Moose has an array of suds, including a coffee stout, a light lager and seltzers. He’s learned a lot about the business from fellow master brewers and cicerones, but doesn’t take the job too seriously. In fact, he says, brewing beer doesn’t feel like a job at all. It’s more like CrossFit.

He took over the former Koehler Brewing Company building in late-2023. It houses state-of-the-art equipment, including a canning line, but is otherwise a barebones operation. It reminds me of the clubhouse my friends and I made using plywood and corrugated steel when we were kids, only this place has a bar.

It’s very punk — and that’s enough to keep Scarlatelli smiling.

“If I can’t make music,” he yells above the roar of the grist mill, “I’ll make beer!”

The Smiling Moose is at 1306 E. Carson St. on the South Side (until the end of May), 8032 Rowan Road in Cranberry and 231 Park St. in Grove City.