PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

Dolly Parton and Tuft the Bunny are putting some extra bounce into Kennywood’s 127th season. (I will always love you, Kenny Kangaroo!)

Unless you’ve been living under Noah’s Ark, you know that the park was acquired by Herschend Family Entertainment, the same company that runs Dollywood Parks & Resorts in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. The sale also includes another pair of local attractions — Idlewild and Sandcastle.

PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

Kennywood opens April 12, with an Eggcellent Celebration that runs every Saturday and Sunday through April 27, as well as bonus weekdays on April 18 and 21. Forget a basket, you’d need a buggy to hold all of these treats. There haven’t been this many pastel colors in the park since Le Cachot was dismantled in 1998!

Last week’s rainy media preview included more than 75 giant chocolate bunnies, 2,000 feet of fake grass and 150 enormous ornamental eggs (not to mention the scrambled kind available at Kennywood’s full-blown Easter brunch!), yet I couldn’t stop thinking about Christmas.

A 1984 holiday TV special starring Kenny Rogers and Dolly as Mr. and Mrs. Claus was playing on a (laser) loop in my mind. Despite all of their plastic surgery, I thought they were the real deal. He had a white beard. She was merry and bright. To my 6-year-old brain, they seemed festively legit! When my parents finally informed me that Kenny and Dolly preferred Nashville over the North Pole, it didn’t diminish my love for them.

And, now, more than five years after Kenny’s death, it’s like they’re together again for our amusement!

I don’t expect Dolly to lead Kennywood’s Fall Fantasy Parades or get her own yarn-swappin’ statue next to Cowboy Joe, but a few nods to the “Backwoods Barbie” would be fun.

In recent years, Kennywood’s resurrected a few old mascots, even giving Jeeters his own bar! I suggest they introduce a new costumed character named Dolly, who will break the mascot code of silence to dispense “Straight Talk” and folksy wisdom to thrillseekers.

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!” is good advice, especially if you live in Pittsburgh.

Speaking of stormy weather, Dollywood has two wooden roller coasters called Lightning Rod and Thunderhead. I’m sure they have great double dips, n’at, but, for me, nothing will ever beat our Thunderbolt. (And, for the record, no giant chocolate bunny can compete with the Jack Rabbit!)

PHOTO BY KRISTY GRAVER

After being sidelined last year, The Steel Curtain — Kennywood’s newest and Pennsylvania’s tallest roller coaster — is expected to reopen in 2025 after an extensive modification project. Kennywood officials say the work is 90% complete. If the ride doesn’t get off the ground soon, I think it’s time to rename it “The Steel Magnolia” because it makes everybody weep.

When it comes to food, I fully support bringing Dollywood’s signature Frizzle Chicken Café to West Mifflin — with a few modifications. The eatery already features singing, animatronic chickens, serves Southern-style fare and looks like a bizarro Bob Evans. Simply replace the cyborg hens with pigs, sell breaded pork skewers and name the place City Chicken.

Since Dolly is a humanitarian, Kennywood needs to give ol’Jeeters the boot and establish The Best Little Pour House in Pittsburgh. It’ll serve local brews (Three Rivers Beer Week is April 9-13!) and sales will benefit a different charity each season. Happy Hour will run from “9 to 5,” complete with an I Beg Your Parton? Karaoke Party with Pittsburghese versions of Dolly songs.

Who’s dahn for an “Islands in the Mon” duet?