Is It Bad Luck to See Your Spouse Before Walking Down the Aisle?

Superstition says not to see your future spouse on your wedding day until you’re at your ceremony. These two couples instead chose an intimate first-look experience.


Dating back to the time of arranged marriages, there has been a myth explaining it is bad luck for couples to see each other before the wedding. It was believed that if a couple saw each other before the ceremony, the pair would change their minds and not get married. 

The “first-look” trend battles the superstition, where couples take photos and potentially say private vows before the actual ceremony, proving it might not be so bad to see your spouse earlier. 

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Alexa Spokane and Evan McStay knew about the superstition of seeing each other before their actual wedding. However, Alexa says they wanted to have time to take as many photos with each other as possible. 

“I am a crazy planner,” Alexa says. “So I knew that everything I wanted to be done, photo-wise, we really needed a first-look in order to fit that into the timeline.”

The couple held their ceremony and reception on Oct. 1 at the Carnegie Museum of Art and Natural History in Oakland and had their first-look photos taken at the museum’s Grand Staircase. Evan was standing at the middle of the staircase and Alexa approached him from behind; she tapped him on the shoulder to let him know he could turn around so they could lay eyes on one another. Videographers and photographers captured the entire moment. 

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Alexa and Evan said they enjoyed the intimate moment with each other before getting married in front of a crowd. 

“We both are pretty introverted,” Alexa says. “We wanted that special moment when we first saw each other to be just me, photographers and videographers. We were just pretending they weren’t there.” 


Nicole Coddington and Jake Seefeld also participated in the first-look trend at their wedding held at Fox Chapel Golf Club. Nicole says they had heard of the “bad luck” myth before, but they were immediately interested in doing a first-look for a more efficient timeline for photos. 

“It saves a lot of time,” Nicole says. “After the ceremony, the only thing you have to do is take family pictures, and then you’re free for the rest of the night.” 


Nicole and Jake decided to take advantage of the intimate moment and say private vows to one another. Jake admitted to being a nervous speaker, and the couple felt more comfortable reading their personal vows in private and more “generic” ones during the actual ceremony.

“There weren’t 200 people staring at me,” Nicole says. “If we would have decided to do it in front of everybody, I would have been so much more nervous.”

The couple’s photographer picked a location on the golf course for the couple to meet each other for their first-look. Nicole says it was nice getting to see her future husband and get rid of her nerves before the ceremony. 

“I feel like it helped calm both of us down, instead of a whole big anticipation of not seeing them until you’re actually walking the aisle,” Nicole says. 

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Alexa and Nicole agree the topic of a “first-look” can be controversial, but Nicole says she has recommended a first look to many friends and co-workers because of how well hers went. 

“I think it was still so special in its own way, and it really helped us calm down,” Nicole says. 

Alexa’s advice to anyone considering the experience is to ignore the myth and choose to have a special memory with your partner.

“I think that memories are more important than some stupid superstition,” Alexa says. “If your connection is strong enough, if you know that you’re going to be married for the right reasons, then I don’t think that really matters.” 

Categories: Weddings