Evgeni Malkin’s Instagram: Even More Heartwarming With English Subtitles

With our translations, now you can finally understand the ruminations of the most interesting man in the world.


On the surface, Evgeni Malkin’s Instagram is a whimsical trip into the world of hockey’s most unpredictably entertaining superstar. Evgeni frolicks with goats. Poses for pictures with apparent Great War reenactors and/or sheep herders. Dresses up as Batman. Plays an enormous violin. Attempts conversation with a flamingo. You know, typical Geno things.

But one thing always bothered us: his indecipherable Russian captions. So many Cyrillic smilies “)))))”. So many exclamation points. What was Geno trying to tell us?

We enlisted the help of crack Russian translator Matt Belenky to decipher the mysterious captions. They did not disappoint.


"Who wants the star for the tree? 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"By half a face I became prettier 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"What else is there to do in the dressing room? 🙂 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"Everyone's serious 🙂 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"This is funny. 🙂 🙂 Who will get it? 🙂 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"Big brother 🙂 :-)"


"Bliss! 🙂 🙂 :-)"


"We will be cooking. 🙂 🙂 Summer catch!!!"


"It's so-so 🙂 🙂 🙂 But at least it tastes good!!!"


"Strong guy."

Categories: The 412