Collier’s Weekly: What Lurks Inside Hundred Acres Manor?

Expect more twists, turns and monsters than you expect — and plenty of entertainment outside.
Hundred Acres Manor Sean Collier

YOU COULD SPEND HALF AN HOUR OR MORE WINDING THROUGH THE MAIN ATTRACTION AT HUNDRED ACRES MANOR. | PHOTO BY SEAN COLLIER

At Hundred Acres Manor, you get your money’s worth.

The sprawling haunted attraction, which for more than two decades has been nestled in a spooky corner of South Park, winds through room after room of elaborately themed mayhem. Hospital corridors reminiscent of “A Clockwork Orange.” A doomed mountain hiking camp. A suburban Halloween party turned demonic. One after another, you’ll find yourself in rooms so detailed and fascinating that you won’t want to leave.

Until, of course, a costumed performer bursts out of the wall and terrifies you.

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Your trip through the main attraction at Hundred Acres Manor could last half an hour or more, and that’s quite a feat; even at marquee Halloween events such as Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, attractions are frequently just a few minutes long. Here, you’ll get bang for your buck — and know that you’re supporting some good causes, as Hundred Acres Manor benefits local charities.

Speaking of money: You’ll want to spend a bit more of it on your admission ticket. A standard ticket is $30, but a ticket with a skip-the-line pass is $40; for just $10 more, the time difference is more than worth it. The lines here get long, particularly at prime time, and most of the line is outdoors; no sense in standing in the elements for an extra 45 minutes to save a few bucks.

Once inside, you and your group will proceed through the themed areas, usually with enough time to take in some details (but if you go too slow, more hasty groups behind you might nip at your heels). Hundred Acres Manor is bigger on atmosphere than it is on jump scares, but you’ll undoubtedly be startled by a performer or two over the course of the night.

Are you a confirmed scaredy-cat — or are you wondering if the haunt is appropriate for your ghoulish offspring? While this isn’t the most terrifying attraction in the world, some of the scenes can be gory and shocking, and the dialogue used by the performers doesn’t pull any punches. Hundred Acres Manor recommends that guests be no younger than 13, and requires those under that age to be accompanied by a parent.

Related: Can a Self-Described Scaredy Cat Survive Pittsburgh’s Most Popular Haunts?

When you emerge from the labyrinth of fright, your evening is far from over. Hundred Acres Manor offers two add-on experiences (for an extra fee): A short escape-room experience and a maze. The maze used to be part of the attraction itself, a concluding challenge for your fright-addled brain; it spun off into its own attraction a few years back and packs some frights of its own, thanks to performers lurking in the darkened pathways. A word of advice: Don’t try to do too well. One year, I found the exit in three minutes and realized I had just paid for an incredibly brief moment of entertainment.

Photo opportunities surround the attraction, as do carnival games in the new “Carver Brothers Midway” area. (In a very small sample size, these games are somewhat easier to win than those at a certain West Mifflin landmark.) There’s also a 21-and-up beer tent, snack stands, merchandise booths and more — even a dunk-the-clown tank.

While Hundred Acres Manor is a well-run operation, your trip will benefit from some planning. Use your GPS, and take it slow on arrival. Parking here is a bit of a chore, and the staff can be stern if you miss an instruction. (There’s also a hayride option from a larger parking lot nearby.) If you can, arrive early and be in line when the doors open at 7 p.m.; you’ll save plenty of time.

It’s a full night out, not just a quick romp through a haunted house. And every year, it seems to get bigger. Given enough time, it’ll take over the whole park — and I’ll be thrilled.

Categories: Collier’s Weekly