The Grim Reaper Gets Inventive in ‘Final Destination Bloodlines’
The horror franchise returns from a 14-year hiatus with its strongest effort to date.
Fourteen years have passed since we last faced death — or Death, perhaps — in the “Final Destination” franchise. If you somehow managed to avoid the five films released between 2000 and 2011, there’s a simple formula: An innocent victim has a premonition of a mass-casualty event then warns others of the impending tragedy. Angered by his lost quarry, Death (rendered as a series of increasingly improbable accidents) picks off the survivors.
And if you didn’t see any of those movies, congratulations on not shuddering in horror every time you see logs on the back of a truck.
Now, “Final Destination Bloodlines” serves as both prequel and sequel to the series, offering more casualties, more unlikely and gruesome coincidences and — perhaps — an ending. (Unless, of course, this one turns into a box-office smash — then we’ll be back in 18 months or so.)
We begin in 1968, where young lovebirds Iris (Brec Bassinger) and Paul (Max Lloyd-Jones) are attending the grand opening of a swanky new hotspot. It’s a skyscraper crossed with a restaurant — a swinging nightclub housed in a tower legally distinct from yet clearly based on the Space Needle. Unfortunately, Iris has a vision of disaster: The glass dance floor shatters, setting into motion an absurd (but highly entertaining) series of accidents that culminates in the tower toppling.
Fortunately, Iris snaps back to reality and warns the assembled patrons of their impending demise. Less fortunately, this angers our invisible villain, who begins picking off the survivors.
Meanwhile, in the present day, Iris’ estranged granddaughter, Stefani (Kaitlyn Santa Juana), keeps having nightmares that match her grandma’s visions. Stefani tracks Iris down, only to learn the grisly truth: Every one of the hundreds of survivors who didn’t die in 1968 has since perished under unusual circumstances, along with all of their descendents. Iris and Stefani’s family — as well as a certain returning character from the previous films — are all that remain.
“Final Destination Bloodlines” is perhaps a bit too long and a bit too overstuffed with lore and references. (We’re meant to believe that every victim in all five previous films was somehow descended from the folks on that tower in 1968, which would make for some pretty clunky family trees.) Surprisingly, though, the film packs in more humor and more inventive set pieces than its predecessors — even, here and there, a smattering of pathos. That’s quite a trick for a movie that uses dismemberment as slapstick.
It’s a silly but undeniably good time at the movies — and that’s absolutely where “Final Destination Bloodlines” should be seen, with fellow viewers shrieking and laughing along. If you’re lucky (and if the moviegoers near you are willing to tempt fate), you might even get the crowd to sing along to the Isley Brothers’ “Shout!” At least until the dance floor shatters.
My Rating: 7/10
“Final Destination Bloodlines” is now playing in theaters.