S#(% Terry Bradshaw Says …
The famed former Steeler went on a tangent recently, saying some things that are going to have many members of Steeler Nation calling for either his blood, his Super Bowl rings or his very soul.
Famed Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw, he of four Super Bowl rings, went on a tangent recently in an interview with his hometown newspaper the Shreveport Times, during which he said some fantastic things, but also some things that are going to have many members of Steeler Nation calling for either his blood, his Super Bowl rings or his very soul.
First, the awesome, particularly in light of the news that Roger Goodell did indeed cut Ben Roethlisberger’s suspension from six games to four today:
"Going to bars—treating women like that; oh my God. I pray they don’t cut [his NFL suspension] to four games. I hope they leave it at six. There is no excuse for that. The egos get out of hand."
Well, amen to that! If you’re going to teach the players of the NFL a lesson with suspensions, it would be a good idea to adhere to the suspensions you give out. This is the exact same science that says if you tell a child that you will put him in timeout for five minutes if he doesn’t stop using Sharpie on the walls, and then you only put him in time out for 30 seconds, you will indeed find freshly Sharpied walls in the near future.
Also, an aside, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will erase Sharpie off of your walls, but it will ALSO erase the wall paint. Like magic.
Moving on, Terry said:
Bradshaw singled out players like Miami Dolphins defensive end Kendall Langford, who spent an hour after a recent practice not taking part in additional workouts, but instead looking for a $50,000 earring that he lost during practice.
"I hope they never find it—$50,000?" Bradshaw said. "Go tell that to somebody that can’t pay for his kid’s education or can’t get them into a hospital room and get them treated properly. Here is a guy wearing a $50,000 earring to practice. I hope they stomped on it and I hope he never found it."
"Testify!" and "Amen!" and "That’s church!" to that, Terry!
$50,000 for one earring and you wear that earring to PRACTICE? I hope a pigeon eats it. And then I hope the pigeon explodes.
"I don’t like guys like that. I’m tired of the earrings, the hair down to the a**—I’m tired of a lot of stuff."
Gasp! I think Terry just insulted Troy Polamalu.
"I would do it all over again: I wish I didn’t have to play for Pittsburgh. I wish I could have played down here and won some Super Bowls—how cool would that have been?" he said.
Oh. Boy. Terry Bradshaw just said he wished he hadn’t played for Pittsburgh. If he had played in his home state, he likely wouldn’t have been an NFL superstar, and likely would never have gone on to be an actor and a commentator and you know, filthy rich. Seems to me, Terry Bradshaw owes a lot to Pittsburgh and to hear him say these things, well, like I said, yinzers are going to call for his rings and zombies are going to rise up out of Monroeville Mall and go for his brains.
But before you get all mad and grab your pitchfork, go back and read everything Terry said again but this time, imagine he’s sitting on his porch in his robe and socks while throwing rocks at the neighborhood children to GET OFF HIS LAWN.
Then it doesn’t seem so bad. He’s just a crazy old guy. Who better never touch a Terrible Towel again because I’m pretty sure the ghost of Myron Cope will reach out of it and slap him across the face.