Local News Consumption is Directly Proportional to Tequila Consumption

PittGirl checks in on her New Year's Resolutions.

In January, I set six Pittsburgh resolutions for myself in the New Year. Here we are about halfway through 2011 and it seems appropriate for me to take a look at my progress. Or lack thereof. Ahem.

Resolution: I resolve to read more about local politics and not do what I’ve been doing as of late, which is see a headline, dry heave, take a shot of tequila and then burn the newspaper.

Status: Abject failure. Still dry heaving and shooting tequila, particularly over the articles about parking meter increases and time enforcement extensions. Those papers deserve to burn. Come on!

New resolution: Shoot the tequila THEN read the article. See if it helps.

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Resolution:  I resolve to eat at the Franktuary because (I’m embarrassed to admit) I’ve never been there. Keeping in mind my resolution to eat healthier, I hope they have turkey hot dogs. I guess if I had no choice, I could eat a fattening beef hot dog … in self-defense of course.

Status: Done!

I visited the Franktuary a few months ago and am happy to report that they have healthy hot dogs. I am ashamed to admit that I did not order a healthy hot dog. I got some delicious mango/guacamole/heaven-on-a-bun concoction while surrounded by hipsters, professionals, and working Joes. It’s a smorgasbord of Pittsburgh people in there and I love it and can’t wait to go back for more.

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Resolution: I resolve to test out the closed-captioning service available on two screens at the Loews movie theater at the Waterfront.

Status: I keep waiting for them to caption a family movie so I can take my children, but I haven’t done a good job of checking every week.

New resolution: Do a better job of checking the listings.

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Resolution: I resolve to finally visit the Mr. Rogers statue.

Status: Done!

I visited the statue for the first time just last week and discovered it to be so much bigger than I imagined. It’s huge and perfect. Mister Rogers has a enviable vantage point, framed by a large stone arch, overlooking the entire city. I know there was displeasure expressed by some who didn’t favor the clumpy look of the surface of the statue, but that’s what I loved about it. The imperfection. That’s what Mister Rogers was all about. Imperfection is okay. Just be a good friend and a good person. My children immediately recognized who the statue depicted and immediately climbed on it for a closer look. This is one statue I didn’t feel the need to tell them to stay off of, like I do the dinosaurs at PPG Plaza, which my kids seem determined to saddle and ride.

New resolution: See about that Gene Kelly statue.

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Resolution: I resolve to stop being afraid and take my kids on the Ducky Tour already. I can’t help it. Boats, even cute boats that turn into buses, scare the heck out of me. Two words: rogue wave. What then?

Status: EEK. BOATS. ROGUE WAVES. UNAVOIDABLE DEATH.

New resolution: I am only going to be able to avoid this resolution for a bit longer because my children have seen the "duck boat" quacking at them in town. The idea of a bus that becomes a boat fills them with joy. Seeing a bus drive into the river to float so precariously that I’m sure the wake from a passing goose will capsize it, fills me with dread.  I assume they hand out life jackets on the Ducky Tour? Emergency beacons? Jet packs?

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Resolution: I resolve to be more patient with the Pittsburgh traffic.

Status: I haven’t brandished a weapon or anything. So … win?

Categories: PittGirl