Holiday Wish List for the 'Burgh

Dear Santa: We promise we’ve been really good this year. We know that we’re asking you to fit a bunch of presents in your bag, Santa, but since we’ve been so good, do you think we could have all of these?

1. A fold-up parking chair in the trunk of every car. And if you could include a rulebook of proper parking chair manners, that’d probably help, too.
    
2. A new Pirates manager that knows things. Things about baseball, even.
    
3. A decent club in the heart of downtown. Just one. Sienna Miller is NOT invited.
    
4. A complete and ready-to-ride subway to the North Shore—plus, Squirrel Hill, East Liberty, Oakland, Millvale, McKnight Road, Mt. Lebanon, West Mifflin and Robinson.
    
5. A case of stinkbug repellent for each and every Pittsburgher. Does stinkbug repellent exist? If not, please invent it.
6. A downtown parking garage that never has a “leases only” sign.
    
7. A Potato Patch in every neighborhood. Next to a Pierogies Plus. Around the corner from a Pamela’s. With an Isaly’s across the street.
    
8. A great, big electronic sign in front of every Parkway on-ramp that reads “Nah, go the other way,” when appropriate.
9. A Mario Lemieux statue two-and-one-half times the size of the Statue of Liberty.
    
10. Peace, love and good will toward all. Except Cleveland, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Dallas and Alex Ovechkin.

What’s on your holiday wish list for Pittsburgh? Tell us in the comments section below.