Five-Minute Fudge Brownies

These brownies are so healthy you can eat them for breakfast, or a guilt-free late night snack.

Photo by Leah Lizarondo


It’s 10 o'clock. Do you know where your brownies are? That's the question that confronted me last night as I bolted to the kitchen, hyperventilating, realizing, that NO, I didn't know where my brownies were. And I had an excruciating craving for brownies. Or ANY treat.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I am overcome by this powerful force that makes me rummage through the deep recesses of my pantry, desperately searching for something … bad. I usually grab one of these dopamine/serotonin/endorphin/adrenalin-triggers when I do my weekly grocery shopping, but for some odd reason, I forgot to this week. Or perhaps someone in my house got to it before I did (a rare event since I have my proven bunkers for my treat stash.)

Sometimes, you just gotta treat yourself.


So I quickly threw my pantry doors wide open and surveyed its contents, my eyes darting from left to right — kind of like the scene in movies where the math savant is calculating a googolplex-size equation in his head. Let's see: Popcorn. Almonds. Maple sugar. Maybe a kettle corn of sorts? Too much work. Takes too long.

Spelt flour. Oats. Chocolate chips. Maybe a cupcake/muffin of sorts? Too much work. Takes too long.

I considered cutting a small opening in the chocolate chip bag and just mainlining it. Eh. Boring.

Walnuts. Dates. Dutch Process High Fat Cocoa Powder. Wait. What?!

My eyes stopped darting. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! The savant solved the equation. BROWNIES! Fudgy, dark chocolate-y brownies. That I can have in five minutes! Contrary to popular belief, this problem is NOT np-complete.

But really? You can make delicious brownies just with those three ingredients? Yes!

But really? Those ingredients sound suspiciously healthy. Will it taste good?

Sure, I understand these doubts. But I ask you to suspend disbelief and just give this one a go. There’s not much time investment – the speed from pantry-to-mouth is unparalleled. The satisfaction to effort ratio is unbeatable. Because these things are good.

In fact, I had these brownies for breakfast again this morning. And my kids had some too, earning me the "the best mom in the world" look of satisfaction, which made it even more worth it.

So. Break out your food processor. And make this. NOW. Or wait until you get 10:00 PM hunger pangs. Because you can.


  No-Bake Five-Minute Fudge Brownies

Yield: Fills one 8×8 inch pan or 4×8 pan for thicker brownies


  • 1 cup chopped walnuts
  • 1 to 1 1/4 cups pitted medjool dates
  • 3 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder (the GOOD kind, like dutch process, high fat)
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • Good pinch of salt


1. Place all ingredients in a food processor and process until a pasty/fudgy "dough" forms.
2. Press into an 8×8 pan. I wet the back of a spoon with water and press down as hard as I can, wetting the back of the spoon as I go to prevent sticking.
3. At this point, you can cut some into squares and eat right away. Or you can refrigerate and have an even firmer brownie after a few hours.
4. YUM!


P.S. I know we talked about starting the season with a cleanse in last week’s post. I have to let you know that this won’t ruin your plans. This brownie has no processed sugar or flour – a great way to transition into a whole foods-based cleanse!

Categories: Brazen Kitchen