Dear God, No: Now They’ve Ruined Charlie the Tuna

The modern world continues to turn classic animated characters into bizarre CGI shticks.

Dear corporate marketing teams of the modern world: Stop. Please, stop. Classic characters don’t need “freshening up.” They don’t need a new “edge.” They certainly don’t need to be turned into bizarre, blinding CGI monsters that look like they were created in one of those Taiwanese animation studios.

The latest victim of this trend is local hero Charlie the Tuna. According to StarKist’s PR jargon, Charlie 2.0 is the "classic hipster with a fresh new look." Funny. To us, New Charlie resembles a Nintendo 64 character voiced by an early John Travolta impersonator.

18-a-guh-rams-a-protein!

If Fred Rogers were still alive, the world's marketing ninjas would be trying to convince him to wear a fedora and teach Kim Kardashian how to read.

We miss 1960s Charlie, developed by legendary Looney Tunes animator Chuck Jones.
 

The funniest part is the sole YouTube comment made on the new commercial.

Hard to believe the fish isn’t real? What in the world. What was going through that person’s head at the precise moment they typed out that comment? What would a world look like where the fish portrayed in that commercial was real? Tangible. A living thing. Swimming around in your local pond. Flying out of the water and into your face, demanding you try StarKist’s new Tuna Creations.

Frightening. Have a good weekend, ya’ll!

#Books: “Hemlock Grove” author McGreevy to speak in Regent Square

Pittsburgh native Brian McGreevy sold the rights to his book "Hemlock Grove" to Netflix, who turned the supernatural thriller into a horrific series last year; a slew of users streamed the werewolf-focused show, and a second season is on tap for later this year. McGreevy returns to town tomorrow for "An Evening With the Authors," where he'll be joined by New York Times best-seller Philipp Meyer, author of "The Son" and "American Rust." The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Tony Norman will moderate the talk, held at Waverly Presbyterian Church in Regent Square. The $15 fee covers admission, the reception and a signing, but you have to register in advance by calling 412/242-0643.

#FridayFun: Man downloads real cat

What’s going on this weekend?

• The Hollywood Theater in Dormont is celebrating 75 years of “The Wizard of Oz” by featuring the film in its “Breakfast and a Movie,” which includes a screening, door prizes and breakfast, of course. — Sunday, 11 a.m.

• Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens’ Orchid and Tropical Bonsai Show debuts tomorrow, offering a pick-me-up in the dead of winter with vibrant plant displays and advice on growing your own. — hours vary; show runs through March 9