Collier’s Weekly: Visit a Kennywood Icon … in the Dark
At Phantom Fall Fest, one of the park’s landmarks has become a lights-out challenge.
There are a number of new attractions at Kennywood’s Phantom Fall Fest. My favorite, though, was less a newcomer and more of an icon — with the lights out.
For an added fee, guests to the park’s autumn festivities can inch their way through Noah’s Ark in enveloping darkness. In certain corridors, the light disappears completely around a corner, the sounds of the park beyond turn distant and eerie and you’re left to grasp into the darkness hoping you don’t run into one of the haunt actors lurking beyond.
Don’t worry; the lights are on over all staircases, and the boat isn’t rocking (nor are the wacky floors moving). But in between those spots, there are long stretches that will challenge even hardy adventurers — often, with only one or two unnerving sounds playing, like the hiss of a snake or buzz of bees.
While I’d like to see this experience included in the cost of admission, the $10 per person price tag also probably keeps the crowds down — the better to truly experience the feeling of being alone in the dark. Regardless of the cost, I found it to be a remarkable experience; this is a beloved landmark I’ve been visiting my whole life and one of my favorite parts of Kennywood. Yet here I am, trapped in Noah’s Ark in complete darkness, trying to remember which room comes next and what direction I should be going.
That’s a thrill.
There are more, to be sure, including several great haunted attractions (which are included with your admission; you can also upgrade to a time-saving Speedy Pass). The signature maze this year, dubbed “mALICE in Wonderland Unleashed,” is a dark take on the Lewis Carroll classic; you may not find Alice, but you’ll find a demented Mad Hatter overseeing a tea party of the dead and the Red Queen looking to add to her collection of heads.
In the very fun “Shady Grove” haunt, you’ll have to make your way through a malfunctioning hospital, the dominion of a crazed doctor who has a penchant for collecting eyes. And the classic “Kennyville Cemetery” attraction drops a gothic graveyard right in the middle of the park, challenging you to navigate headstones and tombs with zombies lurking in the night.
While you might opt for a traditional trip to the Potato Patch, those looking to fill up fully should seek out the new Open Body Buffet, near the Steelers Country roller coaster. (Kennywood provided admission to both the park and buffet to Pittsburgh Magazine for this column.) I recommend the “feet loaf,” as well as the tasty mac and cheese and tangy buffalo-chicken dip. Don’t miss the charcuterie served atop a skeleton, either — and hang around for a while, as classics such as “Night of the Living Dead” and “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” are playing all around you as you dine in a spooky setting that ties into the “mALICE” haunt.
As always, Phantom Fall Fest is a great reason to visit the West Mifflin park in the autumn — but the Noah’s Ark experience is a must for longtime Kennywood fans. It’s like something out of a nightmare: You’re in Kennywood, and you got into Noah’s Ark, but there’s no one else there and all the lights are out. Is that the creepy Noah statue in the distance … or did it move toward you?
A nightmare, yes, but one I’d want to have again.