PHOTO COURTESY PITTSBURGH PIRATES

Last week, I received an email announcing the 2025 inductees into the Mascot Hall of Fame.

Two revelations followed. The first: Apparently, the Mascot Hall of Fame exists.

Digitally, anyway. It was once a physical place, found in Whiting, Indiana. The brick-and-mortar location only hung around for about six years before closing last summer; before and since, however, founder David Raymond has announced new inductees. The inaugural class, announced in 2005, included the San Diego Chicken, the Phoenix Suns Gorilla and the Phillie Phanatic.

The Phanatic, by the way, was originally portrayed by … David Raymond, founder of the Mascot Hall of Fame. This would seem to be a clear conflict of interest; on the other hand, the Phillie Phanatic is a very good mascot, so I’ll let it slide.

Anyway: More than three dozen mascots have been inducted into this elite group, ranging from instantly recognizable creatures such as the New York Mets’ iconic Mr. Met to somewhat less-recognizable characters including Western Kentucky University’s Big Red.

He’s a furry red thing and also a hill, maybe? Let’s not get distracted by trying to explain Big Red.

The second revolution occurred as I scanned the list of the 2025 inductees. I assumed I was receiving the press release because a Pittsburgh-area mascot was being enshrined; my assumption, however, was incorrect. This year’s class includes the St. Louis Cardinals’ avian friend, Redbird; the San Jose Sharks’ unimaginatively named S.J. Sharkie; the Houston Texans’ all-caps bull, TORO; the Seattle Seahawks’ generally terrifying mascot, Blitz; and Sebastian the Ibis of the Miami Hurricanes (who looks an awful lot like a standard-edition duck, but again, let’s not get derailed).

Surely, I thought, there must be Pittsburgh-based mascots among the inductees. OK, Steely McBeam probably won’t make the cut; we still haven’t really warmed up to the big galoot. And while ROC, the Pitt Panthers’ mascot, is a perfectly serviceable cat, the Hall cast its lot with Penn State, inducting the Nittany Lion in 2019.

But … Iceburgh has to be in if S.J. Sharkie is worthy, right? And the Pirate Parrot is a first-ballot Hall of Famer if ever there were one.

Right? Right?

Nope. I am devastated to report that no local mascot has made the cut for the Mascot Hall of Fame.

We can excuse the Iceburgh omission, I suppose, because the Hall is only passingly interested in the NHL; aside from S.J. Sharkie, only Tommy Hawk of the Chicago Blackhawks and Youppi!, whom the Montreal Canadiens adopted after he was surrendered by the departing Montreal Expos, have been called to the Hall. (Pedants: Yes, the exclamation point is part of Youppi!’s name. Again, the world of mascots is rife with distraction. Let us press on.)

But the omission of the Pirate Parrot is inexcusable. Ten Major League Baseball mascots already have been inducted, including such unremarkable characters as the Cleveland Guardians’ generic Muppet knock-off, Slider, and the Chicago White Sox’ green whatsit, Southpaw, who I was pretty sure was a dog until I looked at a picture. (He’s certainly not a sock.) There’s even a Minor League mascot in the Hall, as Portland Sea Dogs mascot Sea Dog — whose name is the same as the name of the team, a dull fact that should be instantly disqualifying — has been named to the Mascot Hall of Fame.

Meanwhile, the Parrot has been an institution for nearly 50 years. The Parrot is older than nearly every other mascot in the league — among currently active mascots, only five have been in continuous use since 1979 or earlier — and has remained remarkably consistent in appearance and hijinks, undergoing only one fundamental redesign in his 46 seasons. Moreover, he’s instantly recognizable and themed accurately for his team, something that many inducted mascots cannot claim. (Once again, I’m looking at you, Slider.)

The induction is far overdue: The Pirate Parrot must be inducted into next year’s Mascot Hall of Fame class. The ball is in your court, David Raymond. Do not let some silly notion of cross-state rivalry prevent the induction of a worthy bird.

Is this about the … y’know, unpleasantness in the ’80s? Listen: It’s a Hall of Fame. If anything, that stuff only made the Parrot more famous.