THE PALACE THEATRE | PHOTO BY BRANDON BOCK MEDIA, COURTESY WESTMORELAND CULTURAL TRUST

Of all the unexpected things that happen in Pittsburgh — sinkholes eating buses, photogenic alligator escapes, the Pirates actually winning a major award — no recent mystery has been quite so surprising as the Case of Jay Leno’s Face.

For those unaware: The erstwhile king of late night turned up at a recent function wearing an eye patch and sporting a mug containing more bruise than face. When an “Inside Edition” host semi-delicately said, “Look at your poor face,” Leno explained that he had fallen down a hill in Pittsburgh.

Wait, what?

Falling down a hill we understand. It’s a regional pastime. But what was Jay Leno doing here? Which hill? And what kind of a hill tumble results in … all of that?

Soon enough, the combined efforts of Inside Edition and the internet’s most bored sleuths answered those basic questions. Leno was in Greensburg, not Pittsburgh, ahead of a gig at The Palace Theatre. The hill in question sits alongside the Hampton Inn where Leno stayed — surprisingly humble digs for a big star, admittedly, but there aren’t too many hotels in the area.

As for the scope of his injuries … well, it’s a pretty big hill. If you fell face-first, sure, you could look like an over-ripe blueberry as a result.

Leno, according to Inside Edition, attempted to take a shortcut down the hill that abuts the Hampton Inn en route to lunch. The show even visited the restaurant in question: The Boulevard, which later confirmed to the Trib that Leno did indeed visit unexpectedly on Nov. 15. (And that he ordered the chicken parm.)

Odd, and surprising, but nothing mysterious.

Or so it seems.

Because there’s just one hole in your story, Mr. Leno: the hill in question sits in the opposite direction of The Boulevard.

Take a look at the location of the Hampton Inn on Google Maps. The hill in question — which an internet prankster has helpfully labeled “Leno’s Luge” on the service — sits northeast of the hotel itself. Beyond the hill is a Painting With a Twist location and … Dino’s Sports Lounge, an entirely different restaurant.

The Boulevard actually sits to the southwest of the Hampton Inn, a good five-minute walk away. It’s possible that the famous comedian would’ve been willing to make the walk, but it’s much more likely that he would drive, particularly since the Boulevard isn’t really visible from the Hampton Inn parking lot.

We know Leno went to the Boulevard; we know his face is mangled. But if we are to believe his account, he sustained these injuries falling down a hill to take a shortcut … in the wrong direction.

Something ain’t adding up here, Mr. Leno. Is there foul play at hand? Was the hill just a clever cover-up?

Or is there some heretofore unmentioned detail in this story that could easily explain everything?

Nah, couldn’t be that. That’s too easy. Something’s rotten in the Greensburg outskirts. I want to know who roughed up Jay Leno.

It was Letterman, wasn’t it?