Calm Down

I don't know what's going on, but I'd like the old Pittsburgh back: the calm, black-and-gold-obsessed, neighbor-loving, perspective-having Yinzers.

Maybe it was the exceptionally long winter that held on for dear life like a desperate, dangling "Hang in there!" poster cat, determined to make us wear our winter coats deep into April. Not me. I don’t believe in coats in April. What’s a touch of hypothermia, anyway?

Maybe it was the fact that that exceptionally long winter was then followed by enough rain to make ‘Burghers say, "This must be what Noah felt like."

Maybe it’s the fact that the exceptionally long winter followed by the unrelenting rain was then followed by a few days of well above 90 degree sweltering heat.

Maybe there’s a full moon I didn’t notice?

… Something in the water?

… Rapture madness?

Have we just lost our minds?

In my blog, I’ve covered some of the more ridiculous items to hit the local news recently, and the hits just keep on coming:

• There are free-range toddlers wandering the streets lost, only wearing diapers.
• There are the ice-cream-truck wars in Fayette County that not only saw one ice cream truck try to drive another off the road, but that same driver then showed up at his boss’s house with a baseball bat.
• There’s the driver of the Prius who beat a motorcyclist with a metal pipe without ever leaving his earth-loving, gas-saving car.
• Let’s not forget the driver of the gold sedan who sent two bicyclist to the hospital, one critically, and didn’t bother to stop.
• Shout out to the man who attacked the Fed-Ex driver who was blocking his way.
• People are getting their appendages stuck in ATMs and are just driving their vehicles into stores and houses.
• To top it all off, so close to .500 ball they can smell it, the Pirates don’t suck, which is their otherwise normal state of being.

I don’t know what’s going on, but other than the Buccos not sucking, I’d like the old Pittsburgh back. The calm, black-and-gold-obsessed, neighbor-loving, perspective-having Yinzers. Whatever it is, the moon, the rain, the water, the winter, I guess we should remember what Mister Rogers said, "Sometimes people are good, and they do just what they should. But the very same people who are good sometimes are the very same people who are bad sometimes. It’s funny but it’s true. Its the same isn’t it, for me and … "

Let’s get back to being good.

Also, I am sure Mister Rogers also once said, "Let’s go, Bucs!"