Be Our Guest (But Only If You Really Want To)

As the big day draws near, Lisa realizes that planning her killer wedding is going to get brutal.

Up until a few weeks ago, wedding planning had pretty much been smooth sailing. Then the time came to finalize the guest list. That’s when things started to get ugly.

I have a very small family. Besides my mom, dad and sister, I have exactly two grandpas, one aunt and two cousins that make up my extended family.

Mr. Right, on the other hand, comes from a very large family. His parents are each one of seven, and both sets of seven have LOTS of children, and some of those children have children of their own. So, keeping the guest list at the 175 that the barn comfortably holds was not going to be as easy as it seemed.

There are so many logistics to consider when it comes to the list: Who’s paying? Who haven’t you talked to in the past year? Should it just be family? If we limit the list to family only, my side will be empty. Since my parents are paying for the reception, shouldn’t they be allowed to invite more people? But if my family is allowed to include friends, shouldn’t his be allowed, too? What about those family members Mr. Right isn’t as close with–how do you just cut a first cousin here or there? What about coworkers–if you invite some, do you have to invite them all? The questions go on and on.

Then there’s the issue of children. I love kids; anyone who knows me knows that I do. But I’m sorry, when it comes to paying for them to eat and taking up precious seating space at my reception, I just can’t have it. If we allowed children, our guest list would quadruple. The only children at my reception will be my beloved niece and nephews, who are the flower girl and ring bearers.

There are so many rules of etiquette on this subject. I’ve read that you should have an "A" list and a "B" list. The "A" list are included on the first round of invites. After two weeks, take the total number of "noes" you’ve received and add 20%. That’s how many people can be invited from the "B" list. I don’t know who came up with this math, but we just might have to test out the formula.

Who would have thought that this little list would cause me so much anxiety? I have argued with my mom more now than since I was in high school (Sorry, Mom!). In the end, I know everything will work out, and as my mom keeps saying, not everyone will be able to attend. If you have an unlimited budget and unlimited space, good for you! You have no idea how easy you have it.

I want to apologize in advance for any of my friends/family/coworkers who don’t make the cut. It’s a brutal game, the cutting of the guest list. For those of you who do make the coveted list, if for some reason you don’t really want to be there, please save your space for someone who does. Thank you.