Collier’s Weekly: Introducing Wrestling Matches with Help From My Dog
Because some goals don’t need reasons, I decided Peanut needed to help me do some ring announcing last weekend.
Since I became a ring announcer for pro-wrestling events, I’ve had an unusual vision in my head: Introducing a match in the ring while holding my dog, Peanut.
I don’t know how or when this image occurred to me. I just felt a compulsion to, on at least one occasion, introduce wrestlers to an appreciative crowd with a microphone in one hand and Peanut in another. (Peanut weighs about 12 pounds, so this goal was not logistically challenging.)
Eventually, I identified the proper setting for my strange ambition: TacoMania, an annual festival held in the South Side Works. Presented by Beers of the ’Burgh and Enjoy Wrestling, the event features wrestling matches in the middle of the busy shopping district, with the ring surrounded by taco trucks and beer vendors; it typically draws a large and cheery crowd. It seemed to me, for reasons I can’t define, like the ideal time to introduce a small chihuahua mix into the proverbial squared circle.
This year’s TacoMania was held last Saturday — a bright and warm but not overly hot day. The crowd was sizable but fairly spread out; I quickly identified a path by which Peanut could be delivered to me between matches.
I texted my wife, Mary Beth, with an urgent plea: Get Peanut down here by belltime, I need his help.
As I awaited the dog’s arrival, I conferred about the matter with Ziggy Haim, a former wrestler who now serves as Enjoy’s “Director of Enjoyment,” a sort of matchmaker and authority figure.
“I think this is the day,” I said. “I’m going to hold Peanut before the third match. And I don’t think I’ll mention him — I’ll just be holding him.”
“That’s absolutely how you should do it,” she replied. “It’s much better that way.”
With tacit approval from the Director of Enjoyment — and an affirmation that any display of Peanut should be understated — I met up with Mary Beth and told her when and where to appear. After I announced the winner of the second contest, I helped her past the barricade and to ringside, Peanut in tow; he seemed curious and utterly unaffected by the noisy crowd. (He shudders in terror if the smoke detector gives a low-battery beep, but 700 wrestling fans don’t phase him.)
I climbed into the ring, then had Mary Beth pass Peanut through the ropes. A contingent of fans noticed and began rhythmically chanting “Sean’s dog!” As the sight of Peanut was picked up by fans who presumably didn’t know my name, the chant morphed into a simpler cadence: “Doggo (clap-clap), Doggo (clap-clap)!”
Peanut smiled and surveyed the crowd. He seemed happy to gaze over the busy scene and didn’t seem to regard the wrestling ring as an unusual place to be. He even let referee George Ross pet him for a minute.
He did, however, look askance at wrestler Tony Deppen, who was riling up the crowd and making a somewhat menacing approach to the ring. Peanut, apparently, is adept at identifying which wrestlers are the bad guys.
This year’s TacoMania was a fun show; all Enjoy Wrestling events are, and I continue to be honored to be a part of them. But holding Peanut in the ring felt like an achievement.
It occurs to me that both the ambition and the accomplishment were more rewarding simply because they served no purpose. We constantly set goals for ourselves designed to improve our jobs, relationships, financial standing or vocational success. We do all sorts of things because the doing of them serves some grander purpose, even if that purpose is as nebulous as enjoyment or fulfillment.
But even the most pleasure-focused goals can become obligations or burdens. Goals that serve no purpose, however, are inherently enjoyable; they are done because they can be, with no other purpose in mind. I think back to the year after I graduated from college, when it seemed like everything I did was in pursuit of starting a career; that was the year I joined the local “Rocky Horror Picture Show” society, the Junior Chamber of Commerce Players. I did so because I desperately needed an activity that served no purpose — that existed only on its own merits.
Did I achieve anything by holding Peanut in a wrestling ring for 60 seconds? No. Am I better off for having done so? Absolutely yes.