ONE OF THE BOUQUETS DISTRIBUTED AS PART OF THE VALENTINE’S DAY WIDOW OUTREACH PROJECT IN PITTSBURGH. | COURTESY PITTSBURGH VALENTINE’S DAY WIDOW OUTREACH PROJECT

Lisa Kostelnik’s heart broke when she heard about members of the gyms she owns — Burn Boot Camp in Wexford and Zelienople — losing their husbands. The husbands of two members had died within three months of each other, then another woman became a widow the following year.

“It’s the sorority nobody wants to join, but somehow you’re put into that situation,” said Kostelnik, 40, of Mars.

“I’m very empathetic,” she said. “These are my people. They are women that I see every single day.”

Around the same time, Kostelnik’s sister — Ashley Manning, who lives in North Carolina — grieved when her son’s teacher lost her husband. This tragedy inspired Manning, a florist, to start the Valentine’s Day Widow Outreach Project, a 501(c)3 nonprofit now in its fifth year. Manning and a team of volunteers deliver Valentine’s Day flowers to widows in the Charlotte area — 1,500 of them this year.

“You could do this, too!” Manning said to her younger sister, who loved the idea.

CORRINE (LEFT) AND LILY KOSTELNIK HOLD BOUQUETS TO BE DISTRIBUTED TO WIDOWS FROM A PREVIOUS YEAR. | COURTESY PITTSBURGH VALENTINE’S DAY WIDOW OUTREACH PROJECT

In 2021, the same year her sister started the flower project, Kostelnik started her own Pittsburgh-area branch. The first year, she gave flowers to 11 widows, either from her gym or women she knew personally. She and some helpers bought the vases and flowers — mostly hydrangeas, garden roses and spray roses from Trader Joe’s — and put together bouquets for the women, who acutely feel the loss of their loves on a day that used to be about romance.

“You see how blessed people felt by it,” says Kostelnik, who grew up in Brighton.

“The biggest thing that you hear people say is, ‘My husband always made sure I got flowers on Valentine’s Day,’” she says.

The grassroots project grew rapidly, and last year, Kostelnik and her volunteers delivered 260 Valentine’s Day bouquets, funded by donations. The gesture is mind-blowing for the recipients, Kostelnik says.

“This is a gorgeous well- thought-out flower recipe; it’s beautiful,” she says. Recipients think: “Wow, somebody really took time to prepare these flowers and make them look gorgeous.”

Kerri Bachner, 37, of McCandless, lost her husband, Kevin, to an industrial accident in 2017. Her children were just 2 years and 9 months old at the time, respectively. The family was devastated.

“I know what it’s like to be alone on your first Valentine’s Day,” Bachner says. “It’s painful and kind of bitter as well. You’re used to small gestures … and all of a sudden, it’s taken away.”

Bachner signed up to volunteer when she heard about the widow’s project in 2021, then she was surprised to get a gift herself. Now, she both receives the gifts each Valentine’s Day, and volunteers to help create them.

“It’s so touching and so heartwarming,” Bachner says. “There’s still people out there that love you and think about you and want to make you feel special.”

The first three years of the project, Kostelnik’s team assembled the flowers at one of her gyms. But last year, since the project has grown, they moved to the Rose Barn at North Park. This year, they will work out of the North Park Lodge, on Feb. 13.

Pittsburgh is one of several cities — including Buffalo, New York, and Nashville, Tennessee — that have started branches of the project. Manning oversees the overall project, and Kostelnik and other local leaders handle the donation requests and make the bouquets in their own cities.

“I am from Pittsburgh, so Lisa’s outreach has really struck a chord with me,” Manning says. “There are a lot of women in the community that we grew up in that remember us as little girls who have written and thanked Lisa and me for caring for them so well. All of these years later, we’re still able to find a way to care for the people we grew up with.”

The Valentine’s Day Widow Outreach Project will give 400 floral bouquets to Pittsburgh-area widows this year, and Lisa Kostelnik is taking nominations. To nominate a widow or donate, use this Google form.