Holiday Wish List for the 'Burgh
Dear Santa: We promise we’ve been really good this year. We know that we’re asking you to fit a bunch of presents in your bag, Santa, but since we’ve been so good, do you think we could have all of these?
By Sean Collier
- A fold-up parking chair in the trunk of every car. And if you could include a rulebook of proper parking chair manners, that’d probably help, too.
- A new Pirates manager that knows things. Things about baseball, even.
- A decent club in the heart of downtown. Just one. Sienna Miller is NOT invited.
- A complete and ready-to-ride subway to the North Shore—plus, Squirrel Hill, East Liberty, Oakland, Millvale, McKnight Road, Mt. Lebanon, West Mifflin and Robinson.
- A case of stinkbug repellent for each and every Pittsburgher. Does stinkbug repellent exist? If not, please invent it.
- A downtown parking garage that never has a “leases only” sign.
- A Potato Patch in every neighborhood. Next to a Pierogies Plus. Around the corner from a Pamela’s. With an Isaly’s across the street.
- A great, big electronic sign in front of every Parkway on-ramp that reads “Nah, go the other way,” when appropriate.
- A Mario Lemieux statue two-and-one-half times the size of the Statue of Liberty.
- Peace, love and good will toward all. Except Cleveland, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Dallas and Alex Ovechkin.
What’s on your holiday wish list for Pittsburgh? Tell us in the comments section below.