We need this tunnel like we need football cheerleaders.
Virginia Montanez
Yesterday, Sen. John McCain and Sen. Tom Coburn, both Republicans, released a report in which they detailed 100 wasteful projects being funded by the $862 billion stimulus package (not to be confused with a suspicious package) that was passed in 2009 to jump start our sinking-faster-than-the Pirates-in-July economy. It's a fun read if your idea of fun is reading yourself into blood-boiling rage.
I didn't freak out or anything when I read the first project that drew their ire—half a million stimulus dollars to replace the windows in a now-closed visitor center overlooking Mount St. Helens. Seems no more wasteful than the normal wastefulness we would associate with our government.
I burst out laughing when I read the second project that drew their ire ... are you ready for this? The federal government granted the University of North Carolina more than $750,000 to create a computer program that would "define an evolving system that assists in the design and production of interactive dance performances with real-time audience interaction.”
I have read that 20 times, and I don't have a clue as to what this is. I mean read it. I understand all the words as they stand alone, but put together in that sentence, in that order, and I'm all, "My name Evgeni ... "
But, seriously. $750,000 to create some thing or some program that would do something with dance or something or other. WOO! ECONOMY STIMULATION SPIRIT FINGERS AND JAZZ HANDS!
I was smiling and laughing and pointing and then I arrived at the third project that drew the ire of the senators and talk about a whum-whum-whuuuuuuum moment.
Have a look:
“In February 2009, Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell called Pittsburgh’s North Shore Connector “a tragic mistake,” leaving taxpayers wondering why the project recently received a $62.5 million windfall from the U.S. Department of Transportation.”
Oh, boy.
“But whether it will provide a true benefit to the city is also a matter of controversy, given that it will primarily serve to bring commuters to sporting events and a casino. Rivers Casino, however, is struggling financially and may turn into a drag on the city’s finances.”
Ah, yes, the North Shore Connector. The $390 million project that will cost $529 million. If you're wondering where to put me and my curmudgeon WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING FILL IN THE BLANK self, you want to put me in the column of people that thinks this tunnel is a giant waste of money and unnecessary to the immediate transportation and infrastructural needs of the city of Pittsburgh.
We need this tunnel like we need football cheerleaders. WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING CHEERLEADERS.
I know. Hindsight. 20/20. But in hindsight, I wish someone would have said, "If we're spending hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars to dig a tunnel under the river for 1.2 miles of rail so the people can easily get to the stadiums and the casino, I assume that the general state of the roads, bridges and general infrastructure in and around Pittsburgh is perfect and pristine and in no need of repair. I assume there are no bridges wearing diapers to catch the concrete poop. I assume there is no need for better transportation options to the airport or Oakland. I assume the Port Authority is raking in dough and using it to bake more dough. I assume that everything transportation-related in and around the city of Pittsburgh is fan-freaking-tastic. If so, then dig, baby, dig. But if not, WE DON'T NEED NO ..."
You get the picture.
Now I'm going to kill the sadness I feel at such a huge waste of money by reading things like this:
“This will allow choreographers to explore interactive dance without always having a full cast of dancers present,” the grant states. One day, dance performances may enjoy the popularity of YouTube hits like “double rainbow” or “dramatic-look prairie dog.”
I would love to know how far the T could have been extended north, east, and to Oakland for 600 million. Would have been a HUGE improvement for Pittsburgh. Currently, the T and the Port Authority in general is absolutely nothing less than a joke.
Well, to be fair the $750K is spread over three years and includes 44% overhead charged to the researchers by the university they are associated with (which is common in academia). So the researchers are basically getting $125K a year. The actual project involves some relatively interesting computer techniques involving motion capture, real time analysis of video, and so forth. The 'choreography' bit is basically just a technique used to foster collaboration between different fields but it's mostly a computer science project. There are a number of possible applications that can come from this assuming the algorithms developed are sufficiently generic to apply across video as a whole. That amount of money will likely support 1 full time researcher, a grad student, and several undergrads on the CS side.
As for the North Shore Connector: I agree. Of course, once the wheels started turning there wasn't anything that was going to actually stop it. By the time the public was really involved in the project the funding had been earmarked and any change to the plan would have involved giving up that money and waiting several more years while new studies and approaches were explored.
Personally I feel that the "North Shore Connector" should have been built at the same time the rest of the T system was built. I like the idea of being able to get on the T and being dropped off just on the north side of the Allegheny river. Do I feel that money could have been put to better use? Definitely. But I'm also a firm believer that the US should have an extensive high speed rail system crossing the country and that maybe the Port Authority should cut some management before continually cutting bus routes.
I'm torn about the NSC only because I love the idea of having it, but every time I think about the money it costs it seems totally frivolous. It's not like it would kill you to walk the whole 1/2 a mile from almost any T stop downtown across the RC bridge to either stadium. In NY that'd be like maybe three blocks?
In short if I think about it logically it's a dumb idea. If I think about it emotionally I like the idea (just so long as I ignore the cost).
As an O'Hara Township resident, I think there is more than one perspective on the North Shore Connector. I understand the frustration over the cost, but for those of us who live north of the Allegheny River, the Connector is the first step toward someday having commuter rail access for our community. This would be a big help in taking some of the pressure off of Rt 28.
Those of you in the East End, I totally understand the frustration, but I'm glad to see it done.
In this case, I think the bigger tragedy is the recurring nightmare of "public servants" who protest loudly long after they can actually stop the blatant waste that is the object of their derision. In fairness, I can't leave out the "public servants" who propose narrow, limited solutions and spend millions to enforce those solutions on broad, complex problems, or the "public servants" who find a suspect, decide he is guilty, and then investigate to prove their point, often with little or no regard for the truth.
Back to the North Shore Connector... since it's already here, it's time to figure out how to fully use it to the broadest possible benefit instead of lamentating mootly and wishing it would go away!
@O'Hara Township resident: How is it going to take any pressure off Rt 28? As far as I can tell, outside of a very small amount of commuters, this is just a recreational-focused addition to the transit line.
I'm pretty sure O'Hara Township resident meant that he believed the Connector is the first step toward someday having commuter rail access for their community. And having commuter rail access for their community would be a big help in taking some of the pressure off of Rt 28. Not that having the Connector would take pressure off 28, just that it was a step in that direction.
Damn! I bet if I had asked for a cool 750M (over three years, of course) to study the migratory patterns of David Hasselhoff, I would have gotten it. Missed opportunity.
Is everyone forgetting how many downtown employees park on the North Shore on a daily basis? These people take those shuttle buses that block every intersection at rush hour.
Additionally, if you ever bother to attend a football game in another city, you'll find that it doesn't take HOURS to get home from the game.
The North Shore Connector will provide much needed relief from congestion!
Humor columnist Virginia Montanez delivers weekly posts on politics, pigeons and all things Pittsburgh via Pittsburgh magazine and her personal blog, That's Church.
She also writes Pittsburgh magazine's monthly PittGirl column.
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Humor columnist Virginia Montanez delivers weekly posts on politics, pigeons and all things Pittsburgh via Pittsburgh magazine and her personal blog, 
Reader Comments:
I would love to know how far the T could have been extended north, east, and to Oakland for 600 million. Would have been a HUGE improvement for Pittsburgh. Currently, the T and the Port Authority in general is absolutely nothing less than a joke.
Well, to be fair the $750K is spread over three years and includes 44% overhead charged to the researchers by the university they are associated with (which is common in academia). So the researchers are basically getting $125K a year. The actual project involves some relatively interesting computer techniques involving motion capture, real time analysis of video, and so forth. The 'choreography' bit is basically just a technique used to foster collaboration between different fields but it's mostly a computer science project. There are a number of possible applications that can come from this assuming the algorithms developed are sufficiently generic to apply across video as a whole. That amount of money will likely support 1 full time researcher, a grad student, and several undergrads on the CS side.
As for the North Shore Connector: I agree. Of course, once the wheels started turning there wasn't anything that was going to actually stop it. By the time the public was really involved in the project the funding had been earmarked and any change to the plan would have involved giving up that money and waiting several more years while new studies and approaches were explored.
Personally I feel that the "North Shore Connector" should have been built at the same time the rest of the T system was built. I like the idea of being able to get on the T and being dropped off just on the north side of the Allegheny river. Do I feel that money could have been put to better use? Definitely. But I'm also a firm believer that the US should have an extensive high speed rail system crossing the country and that maybe the Port Authority should cut some management before continually cutting bus routes.
I'm torn about the NSC only because I love the idea of having it, but every time I think about the money it costs it seems totally frivolous. It's not like it would kill you to walk the whole 1/2 a mile from almost any T stop downtown across the RC bridge to either stadium. In NY that'd be like maybe three blocks?
In short if I think about it logically it's a dumb idea. If I think about it emotionally I like the idea (just so long as I ignore the cost).
As an O'Hara Township resident, I think there is more than one perspective on the North Shore Connector. I understand the frustration over the cost, but for those of us who live north of the Allegheny River, the Connector is the first step toward someday having commuter rail access for our community. This would be a big help in taking some of the pressure off of Rt 28.
Those of you in the East End, I totally understand the frustration, but I'm glad to see it done.
In this case, I think the bigger tragedy is the recurring nightmare of "public servants" who protest loudly long after they can actually stop the blatant waste that is the object of their derision. In fairness, I can't leave out the "public servants" who propose narrow, limited solutions and spend millions to enforce those solutions on broad, complex problems, or the "public servants" who find a suspect, decide he is guilty, and then investigate to prove their point, often with little or no regard for the truth.
Back to the North Shore Connector... since it's already here, it's time to figure out how to fully use it to the broadest possible benefit instead of lamentating mootly and wishing it would go away!
@O'Hara Township resident: How is it going to take any pressure off Rt 28? As far as I can tell, outside of a very small amount of commuters, this is just a recreational-focused addition to the transit line.
I'm pretty sure O'Hara Township resident meant that he believed the Connector is the first step toward someday having commuter rail access for their community. And having commuter rail access for their community would be a big help in taking some of the pressure off of Rt 28. Not that having the Connector would take pressure off 28, just that it was a step in that direction.
The North Shore Connecter is straight up fraud.
Of course, it's hard to prove fraud when the entity engaging in fraud is also the one that defines and prosecutes it.
Damn! I bet if I had asked for a cool 750M (over three years, of course) to study the migratory patterns of David Hasselhoff, I would have gotten it. Missed opportunity.
Is everyone forgetting how many downtown employees park on the North Shore on a daily basis? These people take those shuttle buses that block every intersection at rush hour.
Additionally, if you ever bother to attend a football game in another city, you'll find that it doesn't take HOURS to get home from the game.
The North Shore Connector will provide much needed relief from congestion!