Edit ModuleEdit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Guilty as Charged as a Nutting Enabler

If you're looking for someone to blame for the current state of the Pirates, start by looking at the mirror.

Embed from Getty Images

The Pirates have traded Cole and Cutch and, in doing so, they’ve seemingly managed to extinguish all hope for this season even before pitchers and catchers are scheduled to report to Bradenton.

That’s difficult to do, even for the Pirates.

And that makes Bob Nutting a jagoff.

That, at least, is the narrative.

But in actuality, Nutting isn’t a jagoff.

He’s a business man.

You’re the jagoff.

I’m the jagoff.

We’re all the jagoffs, because we know how Nutting operates and we annually let him get away with it.

We’re the jagoff because it’s baseball Nutting is selling –– not winning baseball, but baseball –– and we’re willingly buying.

Just as we always have.

We’re the jagoff because we appreciate the artistry of a 6-4-3 double-play.

We’re the jagoff because being at the ballpark makes it easier to remember and appreciate having a catch with dad.

We’re the jagoff because we take our sons to the game, because that’s what fathers and sons do.

We’re the jagoff because of fireworks, bobbleheads and The Great Pirogi Race.

We’re the jagoff because when your relatives who have long since moved away visit in the summertime, where else are you going to take them but the ballpark?

We’re the jagoff because you never know which night might be the night somebody flirts with a no-hitter.

We’re the jagoff because there’s nowhere on earth where a beer tastes better.

We’re the jagoff because of Memorial Day and the Fourth of July and Labor Day and the way we know in our hearts those need to be celebrated.

We’re the jagoff because, in lieu of Clemente, we settle for the Clemente Bridge.

We’re the jagoff because where else are you going to get together with the guys you played softball with for all those years and tell all of those same old stories one more time?

We’re the jagoff because it’s all worth it just to have that argument before the fact about whether Hurdle should bunt or hit away?

And to see a double stretched into a triple on pure hustle.

We’re the jagoff because it’s who we are and what we do.

The product doesn’t even have to be good.

Nutting has that figured out.

You know it, I know it and most importantly he knows it.

If you listen closely, you can almost hear him explaining his evil plan to one of his cronies.

The one that maps out how he’s going to get away with what he seemingly gets away with every season once again this season.

It’s a plan so foolproof it ought to be in a movie …


“They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it, for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers, sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces.

“People will come, Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and that could be again. Oh, people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.”

Nutting most likely sounds suspiciously like a guy who doesn’t know whether a baseball is blown up or stuffed rather than James Earl Jones when reciting in such a fashion.

But it doesn’t matter.

PNC Park isn’t a “Field of Dreams” when the Pirates take the field.

But it’s enough.

We’re the jagoff because Bob Nutting’s got us and he knows it.

See you on Opening Day.

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module

Edit Module Edit ModuleShow TagsEdit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The Latest

Duke’s Williamson Transcends the Madness

Freshman Zion Williamson makes this year’s NCAA Tournament, always fascinating on its own merits, even more of a can’t-miss event.

A New Steel Curtain Is Rising

Will the new Steelers zone at Kennywood Park be ready in time for opening day?

Refucilo Winery Brings a Taste of Argentina to the North Side

Dr. Juan Antonio Lora's passion project is linked to youthful memories.

After Dark Hall of Fame: Spirit

The lauded Lawrenceville hotspot is the latest inductee in the After Dark Hall of Fame.

The 400-Word Review: Us

Jordan Peele's new film is terrifying, essential viewing.

Why These Pittsburgh Brides Said Yes to the … Jumpsuit?

Comfort, mobility and style were all considerations for these brides’ perfect wedding wardrobe.

Pittsburgh Tops the List For First-Time Homebuyers

The report from Bankrate.com touts Pittsburgh’s affordability, job market and culture.

On Trend: Add a Touch of Velvet to Your Decor

Local designers say the fabric can give a room a luxurious feel. Here’s how to incorporate it into your home.

Spring Clean Your Attic at This Reuse Festival

Just in time for Earth Day, local organizations are giving you the opportunity to recycle, learn about sustainability and get rid of unwanted stuff at home.

Dish Osteria Will Reopen This Spring

After a two-year hiatus, Michele and Cindy Savoia's beloved restaurant and bar returns to the South Side.

7 Scenic Day Trips with Spectacular Views

By car, train, bicycle or foot, head outside to take in these unforgettable vistas.

Restaurant Review: LeoGreta is a Gem in the Making

With a few tweaks and a little time to settle in, LeoGreta will be the restaurant we all wish we had in our neighborhood.

The Pittsburgh Pirates' Last World Series

Forty years removed from the Pittsburgh Pirates’ most recent championship, the “We Are Family” Pirates reflect on the myriad differences between their game and the one played on the North Shore today.

Foreign Investment: Pittsburgh's Business with Israel

Pittsburgh has a robust Jewish and Israeli community, with scores of programs, both social and academic, bridging the ocean. The relationship, however, is increasingly about business.

Grandstand Gear: The Ultimate Baseball Scoring Pencil

A Pirates fan says she designed the perfect pencil for keeping score at baseball games — and it’s a hit.