Never Have I Ever

PittGirl admits that she is not who you think she is.



Probably the dumbest thing I’ve done in the last 10 years was dub myself PittGirl. But when it’s 2005, and the cursor is blinking expectantly in the username box on Blogger, and you’re set on staying anonymous, your brain burps. You shrug and say, “Batman. Pitt … Girl? Whatever.”

The problem with “PittGirl” is she doesn’t live in Pittsburgh. I’ve worked my whole adult life downtown, and I own a business in Market Square. But facts are facts: I live 16 miles from Grant Street. This bothers some people, and they let me know with snarky Internet comments and air quotes when they refer to me as “PittGirl.”

The problem with “PittGirl” is that there isn’t a perfect English word that describes the time of your life between being too old to be a “girl” — which makes you sound like you’re still eating kindergarten paste — and feeling too young to call yourself a “woman,” a word that makes you sound like you’ve started paying attention to Depends commercials. PittLady? PittChick? No.

The problem with “PittGirl” in general is that I regularly receive emails from readers who assume that because I was brazen enough to call myself PittGirl — and maintain a blog about the city for eight years — I must know more about Pittsburgh than Rick Sebak, Sophie Masloff and VisitPittsburgh combined.

So the emails roll in, usually with an intro line of: “Because you’ve got your finger on Pittsburgh’s pulse …”  Do I really? No, but I do have my spit-moistened thumb ready to go Mom on Pittsburgh’s stubborn cowlick.

“Can you email me an eight-hour, kid-friendly itinerary for my visit next month?”

“I’m moving to Pittsburgh. Which is the best neighborhood that meets the following criteria: …”

“I’m coming in for Christmas. What should I do? Also, what should I wear?”

“Farm-to-table, vegan-friendly, gluten-free, bus route-accessible BYOB Italian restaurant next door to a pastry shop and within three blocks of a bowling alley that plays only ’80s music?”


Well, that escalated quickly.

I’m not complaining; I’m just telling you I’ve long felt the pressure to put up a Little Miss Know-It-All façade. After all, I can’t be “PittGirl” if I have never eaten the South Side delicacy called “Cat-on-a-Stick,” right?

Are you judging me right now? Then bring that gavel down hard, Judy, because this girl (ugh) has never been to Cambod-Ican Kitchen to try what (despite the restaurant’s own whimsical assertion on its website) I assume is not actually speared cat meat. 

Recently, while planning a fun Pittsburgh-centric weekend with my sisters, my oldest sister asked me to reserve a morning for shopping in the Strip District. Because despite my sister living here for 18 years, spending summers home from college and visiting dozens of times since moving to Virginia, she had never visited the Strip.

I went Judge Judy on her — and then it got me thinking: Maybe I don’t need to be ashamed because I haven’t yet done every ’Burghy thing. Maybe it’s OK to be *air quotes* PittGirl while still learning about Pittsburgh.

Maybe there are New Yorkers who have never visited the Statue of Liberty or DC denizens who have yet to tour the White House.

Likewise, I haven’t yet visited The Andy Warhol Museum. I haven’t seen the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s dinosaurs since I was 6. I haven’t ice-skated at Schenley Park, or set toe or tire on the Eliza Furnace Trail. I can’t point out Observatory Hill on a map. I haven’t visited Allegheny Cemetery or Highmark Stadium.

Sure, I’ve checked out countless local places and learned a great deal about our city since I fell in love with it. But Pittsburgh is big, wide and, in some ways, endless. So it’s OK that I haven’t done every quintessential ’Burgh activity. And it’s OK if you haven’t either. We will get to it. It doesn’t mean you don’t love the city. It doesn’t make you any less of a ’Burgher — unless you live more than 15 miles from downtown; then, in that case, you’re just a *air quotes* ’Burgher.

There’s no shame in exploring the new-to-you corners of Pittsburgh. Don’t fake it; don’t walk into the Fort Pitt Museum acting as if you’ve been there before, too embarrassed to admit you’ve always lived miles away and hadn’t stopped in sooner.

It’s OK. And that’s coming from PittGirl, the woman (ugh) who has never eaten a church pierogi.

You’re judging me again, aren’t you? 


Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow Tags

Hot Reads

City Guide: Terrific Things to Do in the 'Burgh and Beyond

City Guide: Terrific Things to Do in the 'Burgh and Beyond

The towns, neighborhoods, boroughs, main streets and small corners of western Pennsylvania that we call home -- and what we love about them.
Best of the 'Burgh 2015

Best of the 'Burgh 2015

Once again, our editors scour the city for 57 FRESH TAKES on our favorite things about Pittsburgh, including place to "get the boot," witness a nerd fantasy come to life, and snap a selfie with a furry.
Best of the 'Burgh 2015: Readers' Poll

Best of the 'Burgh 2015: Readers' Poll

Burger joints. Bar bands. Radio hosts. Here's the most popular stuff in town.
Brewed in the 'Burgh, the Evolution of Our City's Brewpubs

Brewed in the 'Burgh, the Evolution of Our City's Brewpubs

A long-awaited update to Pennsylvania's beer-selling law prompted change to the region's brewpub scene.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The 412

Pittsburgh-Area Fireworks: When & Where to Watch Them

Pittsburgh-Area Fireworks: When & Where to Watch Them

You can get your fill of fireworks all weekend long, if you know where and when to look.
Historic Opportunity: Pittsburgh's Oldest House for Sale

Historic Opportunity: Pittsburgh's Oldest House for Sale

The home was built the same year George Washington won his second term in office.
Report: Penguins Try But Fail to Acquire Blackhawk's Brandon Saad

Report: Penguins Try But Fail to Acquire Blackhawk's Brandon Saad

Instead, the Pittsburgh-area hockey phenom is headed to Columbus.
Tamari to Disappear from Pittsburgh Restaurant Scene

Tamari to Disappear from Pittsburgh Restaurant Scene

Tamari's owners have decided to close their Warrendale location.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Hot Reads

City Guide: Terrific Things to Do in the 'Burgh and Beyond

City Guide: Terrific Things to Do in the 'Burgh and Beyond

The towns, neighborhoods, boroughs, main streets and small corners of western Pennsylvania that we call home -- and what we love about them.
Best of the 'Burgh 2015

Best of the 'Burgh 2015

Once again, our editors scour the city for 57 FRESH TAKES on our favorite things about Pittsburgh, including place to "get the boot," witness a nerd fantasy come to life, and snap a selfie with a furry.
Best of the 'Burgh 2015: Readers' Poll

Best of the 'Burgh 2015: Readers' Poll

Burger joints. Bar bands. Radio hosts. Here's the most popular stuff in town.
Brewed in the 'Burgh, the Evolution of Our City's Brewpubs

Brewed in the 'Burgh, the Evolution of Our City's Brewpubs

A long-awaited update to Pennsylvania's beer-selling law prompted change to the region's brewpub scene.
PittGirl: A Feminist with Killer Shoes, Hear Her Rawr

PittGirl: A Feminist with Killer Shoes, Hear Her Rawr

PittGirl takes a history lesson in feminism, prompted by her daughter's love of dinosaurs.
Chic Summer Fashion: Get Ready for the Haute Wave

Chic Summer Fashion: Get Ready for the Haute Wave

These summertime looks sourced from Lawrenceville shops will keep you feeling cool and stylish.
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit Module