A-Listed

Pittsburgh was featured in many rankings in 2011, from the good to the bad to the utterly confusing.


Illustration by Wayno

If there’s one list every Pittsburgher worth their Terrible Towel knows, it’s the Most Livable Cities list. Not that we live and die by where we rank, but we wait, knowing what a gem we’ve got here — and we hope that the rest of the world will take a look at the list, hunt for the highest-ranked city in America and then say, “PITTSBURGH?!” Just like that — equal parts exclamation and question mixed with a sprinkling of horror as they realize the Steel City beat Honolulu.

Pittsburgh spent 2011 as the Most Livable City in America, an accomplishment we (surprisingly) didn’t celebrate with a parade or two hours’ worth of fireworks. Conversely, we spent 2011 as GQ’s third worst-dressed city, as I mentioned in this column a few months ago. Now it’s time for us to look at some other lists we made in 2011.

Where can we improve this year? Where are we doing just fine? Where are we so perfect that there’s actually no room for improvement? Where, Pittsburgh, are we on the mustache-friendly meter?

Woo!

Pittsburgh was named the top “Large City of the Future” in fDi magazine, while National Geographic Traveler magazine listed us as one of 20 best destinations in the world for 2012. Morocco, Iceland, Costa Brava … Pittsburgh?!  We all need bumper stickers that say simply, “Yes, Pittsburgh!”

Financially we’re the seventh-best city in which to retire, and Forbes calls us the nation’s sixth-most recession-proof city for real estate. If that gets you thinking about moving here, lucky you: We’re the second-best city in America to buy a home (according to Forbes) and the 10th-most affordable place for renters.

If you want to talk jobs, we’re the ninth-best city in which to find one. In addition, we saw the 10th-largest growth in tech jobs, while coming in as the fourth-best city for working mothers. I think that means working moms in the tech industry have hit pay dirt here.

If you’re a single mother, we’re the eighth-best city in America for you — and better yet, you can feel safe here because Pittsburgh is the 11th-most secure city (of large metro areas) in the nation.

Boo!

Forbes has ranked our air as the fifth-dirtiest in the country. Before you panic and start wearing a surgical mask 24/7, take heart that we didn’t make WebMD’s “10 Worst Cities for Asthmatics.”

(wink) We’re the most flirtatious city in the whole country. (eyelash flutter) No. 1! (“accidental” caress of your arm) In my opinion, this is just fine, as long as you aren’t using that ridiculous “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” line — unless you’re talking to Sidney Crosby … because it may have really hurt when he fell from heaven.

We’re the eighth-worst city for dating — in spite of which, we’re ranked third in the nation for casual sex. I blame all that gratuitous flirting we’ve been doing. (wink) On the bright side, it doesn’t look like alcohol is a factor because we’re only the 59th-drunkest city in the nation.

We might not be drinking, but we sure are smoking. We’re the 14th-worst city in the nation, smoking-wise.

While you’re smoking and flirting your way to ill-advised casual sex, check your hair because Pittsburgh is the 12th-worst city in the nation for hair. With a quick scan of a Steelers tailgate crowd where mullets and hairspray-cemented Yinzer bangs refuse to die, this isn’t surprising.

Huh?

We’re the third-most mustache-friendly city in America. So give yourselves a pat on the back — we’re apparently not shouting “GO SHAVE!” at random mustachioed passersby.

I’m shocked that we’re only The Sporting News’ sixth “Best Sports City,” losing out to archenemies Dallas and Philadelphia. I blame the Pirates, the black sheep of professional sports here in Pittsburgh.

Finally, Maxim ranked Pittsburgh as the eighth “Best Man City,” but Men’s Health ranked us a dismal 70th “Best City for Men.”  Let’s allow them to punch each other in their perfect six-pack abs to settle who actually got that one right.

I’d say we’re doing pretty well. We have some room for improvement, but we should be proud of what we are and who we are, and we should be proud that we didn’t make the worst teeth list … or the dangerous driving list …  or, most surprisingly, the worst cities for commuting list.

Right now, the Parkway East is crying, “What more do I have to do?!”

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow Tags

Hot Reads

Top 10 Things to Do in Pittsburgh in December

Top 10 Things to Do in Pittsburgh in December

This month's best bets in The 'Burgh.
50+ Things That Will Make You Enjoy Winter in Pittsburgh

50+ Things That Will Make You Enjoy Winter in Pittsburgh

Love it or hate it, winter is upon us. Because some of us may think there's a lot not to like, we bring you 50+ things to eat, drink and do –– and some helpful tips –– that'll keep the blues at bay.
Excellence in Nursing: Meet Our 2016 Honorees

Excellence in Nursing: Meet Our 2016 Honorees

Pittsburgh Magazine presents the honorees from its inaugural Excellence in Nursing awards. Meet our judges' choices and learn what makes them remarkable in their field.
Choreographed Style: Winter Fashion with The Pittsburgh Ballet

Choreographed Style: Winter Fashion with The Pittsburgh Ballet

A regal ruggedness characterizes the season's menswear looks.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The 412

The Mosaic Stairway: You've Never Seen Steps Like These

The Mosaic Stairway: You've Never Seen Steps Like These

When viewed from the foot of the South Side Slopes of Pittsburgh, the stairs ascending Josephine Street form a massive image that consists of more than 7,500 individual mosaic tiles.
Joe Manganiello Plays the Good Guy for Children’s Hospital

Joe Manganiello Plays the Good Guy for Children’s Hospital

The actor, director and Mt. Lebanon native is joining the board of trustees of the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh Foundation.
Pittsburgh Man Sets World Record By Lifting 1 Million Pounds

Pittsburgh Man Sets World Record By Lifting 1 Million Pounds

Matt Scoletti accomplishes the feat in just under nine hours.
Why Thanksgiving Comes Every Day for 3 Pittsburgh-Area Men

Why Thanksgiving Comes Every Day for 3 Pittsburgh-Area Men

They owe their lives to one man who lives on in each of them.
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Hot Reads

Top 10 Things to Do in Pittsburgh in December

Top 10 Things to Do in Pittsburgh in December

This month's best bets in The 'Burgh.
50+ Things That Will Make You Enjoy Winter in Pittsburgh

50+ Things That Will Make You Enjoy Winter in Pittsburgh

Love it or hate it, winter is upon us. Because some of us may think there's a lot not to like, we bring you 50+ things to eat, drink and do –– and some helpful tips –– that'll keep the blues at bay.
Excellence in Nursing: Meet Our 2016 Honorees

Excellence in Nursing: Meet Our 2016 Honorees

Pittsburgh Magazine presents the honorees from its inaugural Excellence in Nursing awards. Meet our judges' choices and learn what makes them remarkable in their field.
Choreographed Style: Winter Fashion with The Pittsburgh Ballet

Choreographed Style: Winter Fashion with The Pittsburgh Ballet

A regal ruggedness characterizes the season's menswear looks.
Restaurant Review: B52 in Lawrenceville is a Levantine Lifter

Restaurant Review: B52 in Lawrenceville is a Levantine Lifter

Omar Abuhejleh taps deep into his roots at his vegan cafe that's focused on Levantine cuisine.
Why You Can't Beat The Weather in Pittsburgh in The Winter

Why You Can't Beat The Weather in Pittsburgh in The Winter

I’ve traveled a lot of miles, and I still stare in bewilderment at people who tell me they’ve moved to a place because “You can’t beat the weather.”
Edit Module
Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow Tags

On the Blogs


The Mosaic Stairway: You've Never Seen Steps Like These

The Mosaic Stairway: You've Never Seen Steps Like These

When viewed from the foot of the South Side Slopes of Pittsburgh, the stairs ascending Josephine Street form a massive image that consists of more than 7,500 individual mosaic tiles.

Comments


All the foodie news that's fit to blog
The Café Carnegie Now Open in Oakland

The Café Carnegie Now Open in Oakland

Chefs Sonja Finn and Becca Hegarty helm the refurbished restaurant at the Carnegie Museums.

Comments


Not just good stuff. Great stuff.
Best of the Burgh: Pumpkin Patches in the Pittsburgh Area

Best of the Burgh: Pumpkin Patches in the Pittsburgh Area

We’ve compiled the best pumpkin patches for fall family fun.

Comments


Why Wait For Summer? Head to Kennywood's Holiday Lights

Why Wait For Summer? Head to Kennywood's Holiday Lights

The park's winter celebration is great for families and a fine choice for anyone who loves Christmas (and/or funnel cake).

Comments


Mike Prisuta's Sports Section

A weekly look at the games people are playing and the people who are playing them.
Big Ten-Champion Nittany Lions More Worthy Than Buckeyes

Big Ten-Champion Nittany Lions More Worthy Than Buckeyes

For some reason Ohio State is ranked No. 2 in the latest playoff rankings and Penn State is No. 7. That has to change if Penn State beats Wisconsin on Saturday night.

Comments


Style. Design. Goods. Hide your credit card.
Locket Full of Joy

Locket Full of Joy

The handcrafted piece opens to hidden treasures.

Comments


The movies that are playing in Pittsburgh –– and, more importantly, whether or not they're worth your time.
Ten Upcoming Flicks Every Oscar-Watcher Should See

Ten Upcoming Flicks Every Oscar-Watcher Should See

PM film critic Sean Collier picks ten forthcoming flicks likely to rake in nominations for the 89th Academy Awards.

Comments


Everything you need to know about getting married in Pittsburgh today.
Thinking Small: Pittsburgh Weddings That Are Intimate Affairs

Thinking Small: Pittsburgh Weddings That Are Intimate Affairs

Bigger isn’t always better, at least when it comes to these couples’ wedding ceremonies.

Comments


The latest tips and trends to refresh your home.
Seasonal Shopping: CMOA Store Holiday House, J.Crew Mercantile Opens Doors

Seasonal Shopping: CMOA Store Holiday House, J.Crew Mercantile Opens Doors

The Carnegie Museum of Art is full of Christmas cheer — and great deals. Plus, get the scoop on The Block Northway’s latest retail offering.

Comments


The hottest topics in higher education
Classic Christmas Tale Gets a Twist at Slippery Rock University

Classic Christmas Tale Gets a Twist at Slippery Rock University

An adapted version of “A Christmas Carol” will be presented during a seven-show run.

Comments