The Bucco Bandwagon is Leaving the Station

When the going gets tough, the tough Buc up.


Photo by Dave DiCello
 

I am the ruler of the bandwagon. The queen. The most-high-muckety-muck.

And most importantly ... the driver.

Each year I use my powers of persuasion, my charm and my promises of free margaritas to lure men and women alike onto my Pirates bandwagon — promising them that THIS (this year right here), THIS one is the year. This is the year the leaks in the Pirates' ship are plugged, the course corrected, the jib unfurled. I don't know a thing about sailing a Pirate vessel, but unfurled jibs sound about right.

And this year, more than any other, my bandwagon is quite full. I had to get bigger, stronger horses to pull the load and the fans are jammed in there like a child tried to shove 18 crayons into a 16-crayon box.

We were making great progress, tearing through the city shouting, "Let's go, Bucs!" at passing Ducky Tour boaters whose feeble quacks couldn't be heard over our roaring din. 15 games over .500 ball was euphoric. Watching the Wildcard race didn't turn us vomitous — as it did in years past. Caring about games — MEANINGFUL GAMES — in early-August was foreign to us because usually by that time we'd be saying, "Thank God for Steelers football."

Usually by late August, I'd be left on the bandwagon alone, surrounded by litter and hopelessness. And rather than clean the mess up, which I just naturally avoid at all costs, I would light the bandwagon — debris and all — on fire and roll it into the Mon.

But not this year. This was THE year, and my flourishing bandwagon was the proof.

Then it got bumpy. Real bumpy. Puke bags were handed out to all remaining bandwagoners. Being the driver, I announced, "We're experiencing some unexpected turbulence and we're not sure when it will let up. You are advised to put lids on your margaritas and buckle up."

Some buckled up. Some tucked and rolled without a thought for spilled margaritas.

Now here we are in what can only be described as a slump. We've fallen to third place in the standings and are only 10 games over .500. We've lost six of our last ten and I can't look at the Wildcard standings until I locate my own puke bag.

And everyone wants to know if I'm scared. If I'm okay. If I'm at all concerned that the bandwagon's wheels seem to be THIS CLOSE to falling off completely.

I'm convinced they'll pull out of this. I feel a ten-game win streak is just around the bend, right up ahead, and that's the direction I'm driving the wagon. This is the year that we'll have a winning season, if not make the playoffs.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned. I'm saying, "I'm fine!" to people who ask, but deep down it's not a confident "I'm fine!" It's more of a crazy old lady staring in a mirror while putting on red lipstick way outside the lines over and over again while muttering, "I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm fine!"

Maybe I'm not 100-percent fine, but I'll be damned if I'm jumping ship anytime soon. I'm staying the course. I'm remaining a fan through this slump. I hope you will too.

Because this is still the year! I'm hopeful! I'm faithful! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!

I'm so scared.

I think I need a hug from Zack Morris.

The 412

Awesome Hyperlapse Video Takes You Through Pittsburgh at Warp Speed

Awesome Hyperlapse Video Takes You Through Pittsburgh at Warp Speed

Instagram’s new Hyperlapse technology was made for Pittsburgh.
The 10 Most Important Concerts in Pittsburgh History

The 10 Most Important Concerts in Pittsburgh History

We went one on one with legendary promoter Rich Engler to get the scoop on which shows have stood out over time.
8 Photos That Best Capture Summer in Pittsburgh

8 Photos That Best Capture Summer in Pittsburgh

Just because the season's winding down doesn't mean you have to be glum. Savor these images that capture all that you love about the city.
Pittsburgh: America's Most Livable City ... Again?

Pittsburgh: America's Most Livable City ... Again?

It feels good to be at the very top of The Economist's list of high-ranking metropolises in the continental U.S.

More from PittGirl:

The Steeler Way is a Figment of Our Imagination

The Steeler Way is a Figment of Our Imagination

After another embarrassing incident, PittGirl says it’s time for Steelers fans to face the truth.
Pittsburgh’s Refugee Children Could Use a Good Neighbor

Pittsburgh’s Refugee Children Could Use a Good Neighbor

Those who eye 8-year-old children with suspicion have more than a self-awareness problem.
Google Street View Shows Pittsburgh’s Incredible Transformation

Google Street View Shows Pittsburgh’s Incredible Transformation

Let’s hop into the DeLorean and take a trip back to 2007.
The ’Burghy Father’s Day Gift Guide 2014

The ’Burghy Father’s Day Gift Guide 2014

Vintage Kennywood T-shirts, local craft rum and a Star Wars card? Get ready to be a hero.

On the Blogs


Everything That's Awesome About Pittsburgh Today
Awesome Hyperlapse Video Takes You Through Pittsburgh at Warp Speed

Awesome Hyperlapse Video Takes You Through Pittsburgh at Warp Speed

Instagram’s new Hyperlapse technology was made for Pittsburgh.

Comments


Not just good stuff. Great stuff.
The 8 Best (Not) Restaurants in Pittsburgh

The 8 Best (Not) Restaurants in Pittsburgh

Food trucks. Pizza boats. Bagel Clubs. The best on-the-run food in town.

Comments


Pittsburgh, only cooler
The Steeler Way is a Figment of Our Imagination

The Steeler Way is a Figment of Our Imagination

After another embarrassing incident, PittGirl says it’s time for Steelers fans to face the truth.

Comments


Award-winning sports commentary by Sean Conboy
R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

Fire Bylsma? Fire Shero? The Penguins' problems run deeper.

Comments


Grilled Flatbread That'll Blow Your Mind

Grilled Flatbread That'll Blow Your Mind

During the long weekend, prepare this summer-inspired pizza, which features spelt dough, a colorful array of tomatoes and other CSA treats.

Comments


Your New Pre-Game Bar is in Dormont

Your New Pre-Game Bar is in Dormont

Forget the parking and the mad North Shore rush. Before you head to Heinz Field, make a stop at Cain's Saloon then head for the T.

Comments


Style. Design. Goods. Hide your credit card.
Checkmate!

Checkmate!

Use these bookends to keep your office area looking smart.

Comments


All the foodie news that's fit to blog
Local Blogger Wants to Help You Make Something 'Seriously Delish'

Local Blogger Wants to Help You Make Something 'Seriously Delish'

Jessica Merchant of How Sweet Eats will release her cookbook this fall.

Comments


This week's buzz from the PM editors
Time to See Ballet Under the Stars

Time to See Ballet Under the Stars

This weekend, the PBT presents its annual production at Hartwood Acres under the night sky.

Comments