The Bucco Bandwagon is Leaving the Station

When the going gets tough, the tough Buc up.


Photo by Dave DiCello
 

I am the ruler of the bandwagon. The queen. The most-high-muckety-muck.

And most importantly ... the driver.

Each year I use my powers of persuasion, my charm and my promises of free margaritas to lure men and women alike onto my Pirates bandwagon — promising them that THIS (this year right here), THIS one is the year. This is the year the leaks in the Pirates' ship are plugged, the course corrected, the jib unfurled. I don't know a thing about sailing a Pirate vessel, but unfurled jibs sound about right.

And this year, more than any other, my bandwagon is quite full. I had to get bigger, stronger horses to pull the load and the fans are jammed in there like a child tried to shove 18 crayons into a 16-crayon box.

We were making great progress, tearing through the city shouting, "Let's go, Bucs!" at passing Ducky Tour boaters whose feeble quacks couldn't be heard over our roaring din. 15 games over .500 ball was euphoric. Watching the Wildcard race didn't turn us vomitous — as it did in years past. Caring about games — MEANINGFUL GAMES — in early-August was foreign to us because usually by that time we'd be saying, "Thank God for Steelers football."

Usually by late August, I'd be left on the bandwagon alone, surrounded by litter and hopelessness. And rather than clean the mess up, which I just naturally avoid at all costs, I would light the bandwagon — debris and all — on fire and roll it into the Mon.

But not this year. This was THE year, and my flourishing bandwagon was the proof.

Then it got bumpy. Real bumpy. Puke bags were handed out to all remaining bandwagoners. Being the driver, I announced, "We're experiencing some unexpected turbulence and we're not sure when it will let up. You are advised to put lids on your margaritas and buckle up."

Some buckled up. Some tucked and rolled without a thought for spilled margaritas.

Now here we are in what can only be described as a slump. We've fallen to third place in the standings and are only 10 games over .500. We've lost six of our last ten and I can't look at the Wildcard standings until I locate my own puke bag.

And everyone wants to know if I'm scared. If I'm okay. If I'm at all concerned that the bandwagon's wheels seem to be THIS CLOSE to falling off completely.

I'm convinced they'll pull out of this. I feel a ten-game win streak is just around the bend, right up ahead, and that's the direction I'm driving the wagon. This is the year that we'll have a winning season, if not make the playoffs.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned. I'm saying, "I'm fine!" to people who ask, but deep down it's not a confident "I'm fine!" It's more of a crazy old lady staring in a mirror while putting on red lipstick way outside the lines over and over again while muttering, "I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm fine!"

Maybe I'm not 100-percent fine, but I'll be damned if I'm jumping ship anytime soon. I'm staying the course. I'm remaining a fan through this slump. I hope you will too.

Because this is still the year! I'm hopeful! I'm faithful! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!

I'm so scared.

I think I need a hug from Zack Morris.

Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow Tags

The 412

Now Online: Two New Cameras to Keep an Eye on Pittsburgh’s Bald Eagles

Now Online: Two New Cameras to Keep an Eye on Pittsburgh’s Bald Eagles

A Murrysville security company has installed the new cameras, which provide sharper images of the Hays eagles.
#TBT: Watch the ‘King’s’ Final Pittsburgh Concert

#TBT: Watch the ‘King’s’ Final Pittsburgh Concert

Elvis Presley rang in 1977 with a New Year’s Eve concert at the Civic Arena.
Pittsburgh-Area’s Chris Jamison Finishes Third in ‘The Voice'

Pittsburgh-Area’s Chris Jamison Finishes Third in ‘The Voice'

He may not have finished first, but the North Hills High School grad won legions of new fans.
The Right Stuff: CMU’s Lunar Robot Wins Google Prize

The Right Stuff: CMU’s Lunar Robot Wins Google Prize

The four-wheeled “Andy” is part of a Pittsburgh-led Moon mission.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

More from PittGirl:

The World-Famous Yinzer Gift Guide: 2014

The World-Famous Yinzer Gift Guide: 2014

You can't miss with a gift from PittGirl’s list of 13 'Burgh-related must-haves.
3 #GottaHave Items When Snow Falls in Pittsburgh

3 #GottaHave Items When Snow Falls in Pittsburgh

PittGirl solves the mystery of why most ‘Burghers absolutely, positively refuse to run out of these three essentials.
What's Wrong with Having 'America's Ugliest Accent'?

What's Wrong with Having 'America's Ugliest Accent'?

PittGirl points out why we 'Burghers shouldn't hide the fact that we won Gawker's competition.
The Pirates Lost, and Twitter Went to Hell in a French-Fry Basket

The Pirates Lost, and Twitter Went to Hell in a French-Fry Basket

PittGirl recaps what transpired in the local Twittersphere after last night's Wild Card game.
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags

On the Blogs


Everything That's Awesome About Pittsburgh Today
Now Online: Two New Cameras to Keep an Eye on Pittsburgh’s Bald Eagles

Now Online: Two New Cameras to Keep an Eye on Pittsburgh’s Bald Eagles

A Murrysville security company has installed the new cameras, which provide sharper images of the Hays eagles.

Comments


Pittsburgh, only cooler
The World-Famous Yinzer Gift Guide: 2014

The World-Famous Yinzer Gift Guide: 2014

You can't miss with a gift from PittGirl’s list of 13 'Burgh-related must-haves.

Comments


All the foodie news that's fit to blog
Broadening Pittsburgh's Meat Horizons

Broadening Pittsburgh's Meat Horizons

A partnership between a local couple and a local farmer has resulted in more pasture-raised lamb and pork being sold at the market.

Comments


Not just good stuff. Great stuff.
10 Best Lunch Spots That Won’t Bust Your Budget

10 Best Lunch Spots That Won’t Bust Your Budget

Come lunchtime, these Pittsburgh eateries serve food that's big on flavor and low on cost.

Comments


Bar Exam: OTB Bicycle Cafe North Park

Bar Exam: OTB Bicycle Cafe North Park

The northern outpost of the "bikes, burgers, beers" bar takes the Bar Exam.

Comments


The Perfect Homemade Gift: Drunken Pirouettes

The Perfect Homemade Gift: Drunken Pirouettes

Julia Erickson, co-founder of Barre, shares the recipe for a homemade energy snack, fueled with a touch of Wigle’s organic rye whiskey.

Comments


Style. Design. Goods. Hide your credit card.
Elf for Your Shelf

Elf for Your Shelf

Artist Ken Wagle draws on his Pennsylvania Dutch heritage to create unique carvings of the North Pole’s biggest elf — Santa.

Comments


This week's buzz from the PM editors
See a Traditional Holiday Show This Weekend

See a Traditional Holiday Show This Weekend

"A Musical Christmas Carol," "The Nutcracker" and "Highmark Holiday Pops" all perform in the Cultural District.

Comments


Award-winning sports commentary by Sean Conboy
R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

Fire Bylsma? Fire Shero? The Penguins' problems run deeper.

Comments

Edit Module