The Bucco Bandwagon is Leaving the Station

When the going gets tough, the tough Buc up.


Photo by Dave DiCello
 

I am the ruler of the bandwagon. The queen. The most-high-muckety-muck.

And most importantly ... the driver.

Each year I use my powers of persuasion, my charm and my promises of free margaritas to lure men and women alike onto my Pirates bandwagon — promising them that THIS (this year right here), THIS one is the year. This is the year the leaks in the Pirates' ship are plugged, the course corrected, the jib unfurled. I don't know a thing about sailing a Pirate vessel, but unfurled jibs sound about right.

And this year, more than any other, my bandwagon is quite full. I had to get bigger, stronger horses to pull the load and the fans are jammed in there like a child tried to shove 18 crayons into a 16-crayon box.

We were making great progress, tearing through the city shouting, "Let's go, Bucs!" at passing Ducky Tour boaters whose feeble quacks couldn't be heard over our roaring din. 15 games over .500 ball was euphoric. Watching the Wildcard race didn't turn us vomitous — as it did in years past. Caring about games — MEANINGFUL GAMES — in early-August was foreign to us because usually by that time we'd be saying, "Thank God for Steelers football."

Usually by late August, I'd be left on the bandwagon alone, surrounded by litter and hopelessness. And rather than clean the mess up, which I just naturally avoid at all costs, I would light the bandwagon — debris and all — on fire and roll it into the Mon.

But not this year. This was THE year, and my flourishing bandwagon was the proof.

Then it got bumpy. Real bumpy. Puke bags were handed out to all remaining bandwagoners. Being the driver, I announced, "We're experiencing some unexpected turbulence and we're not sure when it will let up. You are advised to put lids on your margaritas and buckle up."

Some buckled up. Some tucked and rolled without a thought for spilled margaritas.

Now here we are in what can only be described as a slump. We've fallen to third place in the standings and are only 10 games over .500. We've lost six of our last ten and I can't look at the Wildcard standings until I locate my own puke bag.

And everyone wants to know if I'm scared. If I'm okay. If I'm at all concerned that the bandwagon's wheels seem to be THIS CLOSE to falling off completely.

I'm convinced they'll pull out of this. I feel a ten-game win streak is just around the bend, right up ahead, and that's the direction I'm driving the wagon. This is the year that we'll have a winning season, if not make the playoffs.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned. I'm saying, "I'm fine!" to people who ask, but deep down it's not a confident "I'm fine!" It's more of a crazy old lady staring in a mirror while putting on red lipstick way outside the lines over and over again while muttering, "I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm fine!"

Maybe I'm not 100-percent fine, but I'll be damned if I'm jumping ship anytime soon. I'm staying the course. I'm remaining a fan through this slump. I hope you will too.

Because this is still the year! I'm hopeful! I'm faithful! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!

I'm so scared.

I think I need a hug from Zack Morris.

Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow Tags

More from PittGirl:

Why You Need to Know These 4 Bold Pittsburgh Women

Why You Need to Know These 4 Bold Pittsburgh Women

PittGirl says these women "had Girl Power before the world knew what Girl Power meant."
The 'Burghy Mother's Day Gift Guide 2015

The 'Burghy Mother's Day Gift Guide 2015

Plan ahead with this list of 10 locally made must-haves for Mom.
PittGirl: Jury Still Out on Pittsburgh's Bike Lanes

PittGirl: Jury Still Out on Pittsburgh's Bike Lanes

For now, she suggests critics take the "Seinfeld" approach.
19 Ways Pittsburgh Earned the “Quirky” Label

19 Ways Pittsburgh Earned the “Quirky” Label

Stand proud, Pittsburgh: Our brand of quirky is a good thing — positive, uplifting, fun, colorful, imaginative.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The 412

Pittsburgh Magazine Wins 7 Golden Quill Awards

Pittsburgh Magazine Wins 7 Golden Quill Awards

Sponsored by the Press Club of Western Pennsylvania, the contest recognizes excellence in magazine, newspaper, broadcast and online journalism.
Got Tickets? Pittsburgh's Best, Biggest Food Event Is Weeks Away

Got Tickets? Pittsburgh's Best, Biggest Food Event Is Weeks Away

Join us on June 8 at Heinz Field for the 26th annual Best Restaurants Party.
Bow Wow: Pittsburgh Gets Props for Dog Parks

Bow Wow: Pittsburgh Gets Props for Dog Parks

The city earned a No. 1 ranking for giving our four-legged friends plenty of room to roam.
Idlewild Park Opening with New Ride

Idlewild Park Opening with New Ride

The park begins its 138th season this weekend.
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags

On the Blogs


Everything That's Awesome About Pittsburgh Today
Pittsburgh Magazine Wins 7 Golden Quill Awards

Pittsburgh Magazine Wins 7 Golden Quill Awards

Sponsored by the Press Club of Western Pennsylvania, the contest recognizes excellence in magazine, newspaper, broadcast and online journalism.

Comments


Pittsburgh, only cooler
Why You Need to Know These 4 Bold Pittsburgh Women

Why You Need to Know These 4 Bold Pittsburgh Women

PittGirl says these women "had Girl Power before the world knew what Girl Power meant."

Comments


All the foodie news that's fit to blog
Pittsburgh Says Farewell to Penn Mac's 'Dearheart'

Pittsburgh Says Farewell to Penn Mac's 'Dearheart'

Pittsburgh's food community paid tribute to Carol Pascuzzi's contributions at the cheese counter where she dispensed invaluable advice.

Comments


Not just good stuff. Great stuff.
6 Great Pittsburgh-Area Places to Watch Outdoor Concerts

6 Great Pittsburgh-Area Places to Watch Outdoor Concerts

Get the rundown on who's playing at our favorite summer venues.

Comments


Bricolage's Sweeping 'SAINTS TOUR' Turns Braddock Into One Big Stage

Bricolage's Sweeping 'SAINTS TOUR' Turns Braddock Into One Big Stage

The innovative company's latest immersive theater project takes audiences on an uncanny journey through the small town.

Comments


Party Time: Kaya Celebrates 20 Years with Festival and Food

Party Time: Kaya Celebrates 20 Years with Festival and Food

The Strip District's Latin/Caribbean restaurant marks the occasion with several shindigs, including the ever-popular Kaya Fest.

Comments


Style. Design. Goods. Hide your credit card.
Mack at You – The Perfectly Chic Summer Platform Sandal

Mack at You – The Perfectly Chic Summer Platform Sandal

Pittsburgh-based designer Emy Mack, who recently opened a boutique in Shadyside, has the shoe style you need for the warmer weather.

Comments


This week's buzz from the PM editors
PyroFest Will Kick off with a Bang

PyroFest Will Kick off with a Bang

This year's fireworks-focused festivities will take place in Slippery Rock, Pa., through Saturday.

Comments


Everything you need to know about getting married in Pittsburgh today.
Pittsburgh's 5 Most Popular Spots for Perfect Wedding Photos

Pittsburgh's 5 Most Popular Spots for Perfect Wedding Photos

So why do brides and grooms tend to flock to these spots?

Comments


The latest tips and trends to refresh your home.
Head to the City for the Ultimate Flea Market

Head to the City for the Ultimate Flea Market

Neighborhood Flea returns for 2015, bringing with it an assortment of goods, workshops, food and more.

Comments


The hottest topics in higher education
New Science Lab to Debut This Summer in the Hill District

New Science Lab to Debut This Summer in the Hill District

The lab, a partnership between Duquesne University and Urban Innovation 21, will offer courses for a range of learners, including students in grades 3-12.

Comments


Thinking outside the box (score)
Pittsburgh's Best (and Worst) Sports Uniforms of All Time

Pittsburgh's Best (and Worst) Sports Uniforms of All Time

Sports teams are constantly reaching back into their history for throwback jerseys. But “retro” isn’t always a term of endearment when it comes to uniforms.

Comments


Award-winning sports commentary by Sean Conboy
R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

R.I.P. Corporate Penguins, 2009-2014

Fire Bylsma? Fire Shero? The Penguins' problems run deeper.

Comments

Edit Module