PittGirl: How You Should Grade A Squishy Tongue

Kennywood Park opens soon and new this season is the return of the famed whale at the entrance of Noah’s Ark. In the name of science, PittGirl paid an early visit to test the squishiness quotient of the whale's all-important tongue.




photo by virginia montanez

 

Ah, the feats of modern engineering.

How do you create an artificial island that doesn’t just sink back into the sea?

How do you build a skyscraper 2,700-feet tall that doesn’t implode with the smallest registration on the Richter Scale?

How do you diaper a concrete-pooping bridge?

How do you build a squishy walkable tongue for an amusement park’s concrete whale that doesn’t get completely destroyed and need to be replaced six times a summer?

That last one was the challenge set to the crew charged with rebuilding the famed whale at the entrance of Kennywood’s Noah’s Ark this off-season.

In bringing back the whale, Kennywood knew it was the squishy tongue that really held all the nostalgia for old timey park-goers like me. The tongue of our youth (there’s a phrase I never thought I’d write), was made of a pink fabric stuffed with some kind of foam. Therefore, it was destroyed regularly by all the feet stomping on it. Designing a squishy tongue that would withstand the summer was the goal.

I wrote a 750-word column on the squishy tongue, so as the whale neared completion, I was sure to visit the park to check on the new tongue’s squishy factor on a scale of 1 to Fresh Marshmallow Peeps.

Yesterday I stopped by to visit Kennywood’s Nick Paradise (Almost paradise/We’re knocking on heaven’s door … Where my Guiding Light peeps at?). We headed straight for Noah’s Ark where crews were putting final touches to the attraction and the entire park in preparation for Opening Day on Saturday, May 7.

Standing in the blue whale’s gaping mouth now complete with a long reddish tongue, I began my scientific squishiness evaluation. My methods, as will be outlined in my forthcoming submission entitled “The Magnitude of the Marshmallow Peepification of Kennywood’s Noah’s Ark Reborn Whale Tongue” to some super sciency journal, were as follows:

  1. Touch it.
     
  2. Stand on it.
     
  3. Walk on it.
     
  4. Hop on it.
     
  5. Lie down on it.

Here I am doing science:
 

My final conclusion after much data-gathering?

Success.

This new material, which has an underlayment of chopped up rubber, will both withstand a summer’s worth of park-goers’ steps and will feel squishy under your feet as you are swallowed into the haunt.

Is it as squishy as the tongue of goo-encrusted pink fabric covering pop-soaked foam of our youth? No. Is it different? Yes. Is different always worse? No.

You’ll have to make your own squishiness determinations this summer when you visit the whale yourself.

Bring a calculator and do science, but by my math, which I’m good at …

I got 7.

Looking forward to all the honorary sciencemath doctoral degree invitations coming my way.
 

 

Edit Module

Edit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags

More from PittGirl:

PittGirl: How You Should Grade A Squishy Tongue

PittGirl: How You Should Grade A Squishy Tongue

Kennywood Park opens soon and new this season is the return of the famed whale at the entrance of Noah’s Ark. In the name of science, PittGirl paid an early visit to test the squishiness quotient of the whale's all-important tongue.
The 'Burghy Mother's Day Gift Guide 2016

The 'Burghy Mother's Day Gift Guide 2016

Don't start shopping without this list of 10 locally made must-haves for Mom.
Drink It In: The Best Place to Get Drunk on Pittsburgh's History

Drink It In: The Best Place to Get Drunk on Pittsburgh's History

PittGirl shares the fascinating stories behind a chair, china, and a homemade toy.
PittGirl: Yikes! Imagine This Instead of a Fountain at the Point

PittGirl: Yikes! Imagine This Instead of a Fountain at the Point

City leaders considered many options for Pittsburgh's confluence including something that looked like it was designed by the Jetsons, or an absolutely bonkers, batpoop insane idea by the one and only Frank Lloyd Wright.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The 412

Watch: Local Beverly's Birthdays Gets National Attention

Watch: Local Beverly's Birthdays Gets National Attention

NBC Nightly News profiled Megs Yunn of Irwin, who doles out birthday cheer 365 days a year.
Penguins Broadcaster Mike Lange Cutting Back This Season

Penguins Broadcaster Mike Lange Cutting Back This Season

Lange is entering his 43rd season of NHL broadcasting, all but one of which were spent with Pittsburgh
With 50 Shades of Silence, Darieth Chisolm Offers Her Voice and Support

With 50 Shades of Silence, Darieth Chisolm Offers Her Voice and Support

The longtime local newscaster’s website and forthcoming documentary, based on her own experience with non-consensual pornography, aim to provide victims with help and support.
10 Years Later: What Randy Pausch's “Last Lecture” Taught Us

10 Years Later: What Randy Pausch's “Last Lecture” Taught Us

People who were in the audience that day reflect on the importance of Pausch's message and how it is still relevant today.
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

On the Blogs


Watch: Local Beverly's Birthdays Gets National Attention

Watch: Local Beverly's Birthdays Gets National Attention

NBC Nightly News profiled Megs Yunn of Irwin, who doles out birthday cheer 365 days a year.

Comments


All the foodie news that's fit to blog
Meet the Federal Galley Chefs

Meet the Federal Galley Chefs

We have the lowdown on who is cooking what in the new North Side food hall from the operators of Smallman Galley.

Comments


Not just good stuff. Great stuff.
Best Places for Kids on Rainy Days in Pittsburgh

Best Places for Kids on Rainy Days in Pittsburgh

Read on for some under-the-radar ideas on how you and the kids can survive a rainy day this summer.

Comments


King Arthur's Sword Turns a Spot in Baldwin Into an Entertainment Destination

King Arthur's Sword Turns a Spot in Baldwin Into an Entertainment Destination

IQ Escape's new South Hills escape rooms elevate Crafthouse Stage & Grill and Legacy Lanes.

Comments


Mike Prisuta's Sports Section

A weekly look at the games people are playing and the people who are playing them.
Encouraging Start Only a Start for The Steelers

Encouraging Start Only a Start for The Steelers

The season's first two victories were notched against mediocre competition. Eventually, the degree of difficulty is going to ratchet up considerably.

Comments


Style. Design. Goods. Hide your credit card.
#Gottahaveit: Take It To the Hoop

#Gottahaveit: Take It To the Hoop

Robert Hallett, Goldsmith, handcrafts the jewelry in his Oakmont shop.

Comments


The movies that are playing in Pittsburgh –– and, more importantly, whether or not they're worth your time.
Kingsman Sequel Leans Into the Crazy (And Turns Out Fun)

Kingsman Sequel Leans Into the Crazy (And Turns Out Fun)

Reviews of "Kingsman: The Golden Circle," "Friend Request" and "Brad's Status," plus local movie news and notes.

Comments


Everything you need to know about getting married in Pittsburgh today.
Mad Libs Adds Laughs and Advice to Pittsburgh Wedding

Mad Libs Adds Laughs and Advice to Pittsburgh Wedding

Wedding guests were asked to bring their creativity to the couple’s big day.

Comments


Weekly inspiration for your home from the editors of Pittsburgh Magazine
Tour Chatham Village, Pittsburgh’s Own Secret Garden

Tour Chatham Village, Pittsburgh’s Own Secret Garden

The home and garden tour in the historic planned garden community in the heart of Mt. Washington takes place next week.

Comments


The hottest topics in higher education
Tuition Increases at the University of Pittsburgh

Tuition Increases at the University of Pittsburgh

School trustees voted this week to increase tuition for in-state and out-of-state students.

Comments

Edit Module