Edit ModuleEdit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Guilty as Charged as a Nutting Enabler

If you're looking for someone to blame for the current state of the Pirates, start by looking at the mirror.

Embed from Getty Images

The Pirates have traded Cole and Cutch and, in doing so, they’ve seemingly managed to extinguish all hope for this season even before pitchers and catchers are scheduled to report to Bradenton.

That’s difficult to do, even for the Pirates.

And that makes Bob Nutting a jagoff.

That, at least, is the narrative.

But in actuality, Nutting isn’t a jagoff.

He’s a business man.

You’re the jagoff.

I’m the jagoff.

We’re all the jagoffs, because we know how Nutting operates and we annually let him get away with it.

We’re the jagoff because it’s baseball Nutting is selling –– not winning baseball, but baseball –– and we’re willingly buying.

Just as we always have.

We’re the jagoff because we appreciate the artistry of a 6-4-3 double-play.

We’re the jagoff because being at the ballpark makes it easier to remember and appreciate having a catch with dad.

We’re the jagoff because we take our sons to the game, because that’s what fathers and sons do.

We’re the jagoff because of fireworks, bobbleheads and The Great Pirogi Race.

We’re the jagoff because when your relatives who have long since moved away visit in the summertime, where else are you going to take them but the ballpark?

We’re the jagoff because you never know which night might be the night somebody flirts with a no-hitter.

We’re the jagoff because there’s nowhere on earth where a beer tastes better.

We’re the jagoff because of Memorial Day and the Fourth of July and Labor Day and the way we know in our hearts those need to be celebrated.

We’re the jagoff because, in lieu of Clemente, we settle for the Clemente Bridge.

We’re the jagoff because where else are you going to get together with the guys you played softball with for all those years and tell all of those same old stories one more time?

We’re the jagoff because it’s all worth it just to have that argument before the fact about whether Hurdle should bunt or hit away?

And to see a double stretched into a triple on pure hustle.

We’re the jagoff because it’s who we are and what we do.

The product doesn’t even have to be good.

Nutting has that figured out.

You know it, I know it and most importantly he knows it.

If you listen closely, you can almost hear him explaining his evil plan to one of his cronies.

The one that maps out how he’s going to get away with what he seemingly gets away with every season once again this season.

It’s a plan so foolproof it ought to be in a movie …


“They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it, for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers, sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces.

“People will come, Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and that could be again. Oh, people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.”

Nutting most likely sounds suspiciously like a guy who doesn’t know whether a baseball is blown up or stuffed rather than James Earl Jones when reciting in such a fashion.

But it doesn’t matter.

PNC Park isn’t a “Field of Dreams” when the Pirates take the field.

But it’s enough.

We’re the jagoff because Bob Nutting’s got us and he knows it.

See you on Opening Day.

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module

Edit ModuleShow TagsEdit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags

The Latest

PIT Turns to CMU to Make Airport Smartest in the World

The airport authority will use minds at CMU to discover ways to make it easier for passengers to get from the terminal’s parking lots to their seat on the plane.

Celebrate August Wilson's Birthday With a King and a Block Party

The ninth play in the 10-part Pittsburgh Cycle will open outside at the August Wilson House.

First Look: Soju in Garfield

Simon Chough’s Korean restaurant is six years in the making.

I Feel Pretty Isn't What You're Expecting (And That's Okay)

Reviews of "I Feel Pretty" and "Super Troopers 2," plus a rundown of events at the Pittsburgh Underground Film Festival.

Get Your Clark Bars While You Can – They May Soon Be Gone

Production of Pittsburgh native candy bar may halt if the current producer cannot find a new buyer.

Coughlin's Law Wants To Be Your Mount Washington Destination

Notes on the busy new bar and restaurant near Grandview Avenue.

The 2018 Return of the Burgh-y Mother's Day Gift Guide

It's back! From the dog mom to the working mom, we've got you covered with these locally made must-haves.

Patriot Games Can’t Diminish Harrison’s Place in Steelers History

James Harrison intimidated opposing players in a way not seen since the days of Jack Lambert and Mean Joe Greene.

Bruno Sammartino Dies; Wrestling's Longtime Champ Was 82

The Italian-born star died surrounded by family in his adopted home of Pittsburgh.

It’s Road Repaving Season in Pittsburgh. Is Your Street on the List?

The City of Pittsburgh has finalized its street paving plan for 2018. You’re one click away from finding out if your street or route to work is on the list.

Three Rivers Champion: James S. Perry

Perry combined his love for athletics and volunteerism to create a youth athletic association that at its height provided organized softball and baseball to more than 350 boys and girls.

Three Rivers Art Festival Brings Music and New Art For 59th Summer

Point State Park, Gateway Center and sites across the Cultural District will host free, world-class art and events during this year’s 10-day festival.

Sound of Silence: Century III to be Sold at Sheriff's Sale

The nearly 40-year-old mall encounters foreclosure once again. Will this sale be the end of the line?

Pittsburgh Riverlife President & CEO Vivien Li Resigns

Li is returning to Boston to be with family members who are in declining health.

The Best Ways to Reuse and Repurpose Wedding Decor

From new decor in the home to donations to charity, check out these ways to repurpose leftover wedding decor.